True Love Waits
by bournelover
Summary: The path to love is never easy, especially with your best friend. Following the events of "Remember Me" 2.10 Jane and Maura do something that changes their friendship forever. Our ladies soon realize just how much one night can change everything. This is an angsty, sightly dark POV story. M for course language and sexual situations.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:  
**

The path to love is never easy, especially with your best friend. Following the events of "Remember Me" (2.10) Jane and Maura do something that changes their friendship forever. Our ladies soon realize just how much one night can change everything. This is an angsty, sightly dark POV story.

**Hey guys so this is my first attempt at writing fanfiction. Please, please be kind and let me know what you think. Good or bad, it doesn't matter. I know the episode "Remember Me" has been written about many times in fanfic-land. I chose it as the starting point and the moment their relationship changed. In later chapters I intend to reference episodes from the end of season two through to stay current with season three.**

**Chapter One**

**Jane's POV**

What a week. Hoyt is gone but this hardly feels real, it all feels like a dream. I am exhausted as all hell and right now I can barely distinguish reality. Yet here we are in my apartment, alive and well. The pony party had wrapped up not long ago and it was just the two of us left at my apartment. Maura insisted on clearing up the dishes. I think she just wants to keep herself distracted or maybe she just wants some time to process. Either way I get it.

I sit on my couch drinking whisky. I need the hard stuff tonight, beer ain't gonna cut it. I'm trying to shut my mind off but I can't. My scattered brain keeps returning to the same place; Maura. She shouldn't have been there and because of me she became a target. It was my fault, I never should have let her come with me to see Hoyt. I know she doesn't blame me, I know she never would. But right now I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive myself.

I wonder if I would've had the strength to fight off that bastard if Maura _hadn't _been there. All I know for sure is that the minute he laid a hand upon her I saw red. Everything just stopped and all I knew was I _had_ to save her. My instincts took over and a rush surged through me. I know what adrenaline feels like, but this came from somewhere different. It came from a place of love even deeper than a love I have for myself. When I react like that, out of a place I don't understand, it scares me. There are times, like tonight, that I wonder about my devotion to Maura. I would do _anything_ for her and I would kill _anyone_ for her if I had to. Hell, there is nothing I _wouldn't_ do for that woman.

I hear shuffling as Maura walks back in to the living room with a wine in her hand. She sits down on the couch almost touching me. I'm glad though, I need her close right now. I hear a sigh so I look over to see she is staring at her wine as while fingers circle the rim of the glass. For a moment I simply take in the sight of her. Thank god she's okay. I don't think Maura has knows just how much I admire everything about her. She is caring, sincere, generous, kind, warm and funny in her own way. Not to mention fiercely loyal, loving and beautiful. Wait. What does _beautiful _have to do with anything?

God, I need some sleep. I feel a blush light up my face as my eyes stay glued to the definition of perfection sitting right in front of me. As if on cue, Maura looks up, turning her head to look at me staring at her. She looks deeply in to my eyes and I can see she is trying to read me. After clearing my throat and averting my gaze, I take a very large swig of my drink. Holy shit, I hope she didn't see that. Get it together, Rizzoli.

* * *

**Maura's POV**

I look over at Jane, observing her body language as try to understand the emotion behind her eyes. Her cheeks looked flushed which could be from a number of things, quite possibly the hard liquor she is ingesting. She looks down at her whisky and I can tell she is deep in thought. Hoyt was gone and Jane had saved my life. One thing I do know is that she will blame herself for what happened tonight. What Jane doesn't realize is that she is the definition of a hero. She is _my _hero. But right now she just looks so fragile and so vulnerable all I want to do is hold her.

"Maur?" Jane softly asks me.

"Yes, Jane?"

"He's gone"

"Yes, Jane, he's gone," I respond in a soft but firm voice in the hope of reassuring her.

I look over to see a single tear trickle down her cheek. At first I want to jump over and wipe away her sadness. I don't move though, sensing that it's space that she needs. I also sense it is a tear of many emotions, sadness not being one of them. For that tear was shed from a place inside Jane not seeking pity or sympathy. I can only imagine what Jane is feeling right now. The finality of Hoyt's death will take time to fully accept.

My own mind is trying to process. I pause in an attempt to ground myself. It is frustrasting that my ability to compartmentalize is not at its usual level of efficiency. Thoughts and emotions are roaming around my mind, their logic unchallenged due to exhaustion. I notice a strange feeling of excitement as I continue to look at Jane. Even though it is an incredibly inappropriate time, I can't help but take in her beauty. _Oh, _I think to myself. This excitement isn't a thought or emotion, it is something physical. One of the effects of adrenaline is that it can cause arousal, this is true of-

"Maur, are you okay?" Jane asks, effectively distracting me from my thoughts. I look in to her concerned eyes as I feel the blush creep over my cheeks. Well, at least I can blame it on the wine.

"Yes, I think so. I am, however, exhausted and my mind is starting to play tricks on me"

Jane offers hearty laugh which I am finding sexier than usual tonight, "Don't worry. My mind is out of control right now too."

I'm not surprised Jane is feeling the same as me. After all we've been through; the lack of sleep, the extremely intense work load, all the physical and emotional stress. She shifts over on the couch and puts an arm around my shoulder. I lean in to rest my head between her armpit and shoulder. I feel safe for the first time since the terror with Hoyt.

"This is nice. I like being next to you"

"I like having you next to me, guess that makes us even"

I hear her let out a deep sigh as I nuzzle closer in to her body. I feel her squeeze me tighter as she continues in a soft shaky voice,"I would never have forgiven myself if something happened to you tonight, Maur. I'm so sorry you had to go through that"

Jane's words were spoken with such sincerity they bring tears to my eyes which she gently wipes from my cheeks. She follows this action with a tender kiss to my forehead. I feel her mouth move to my cheek where she places another soft kiss before whispering in my ear, "Thank you"

I feel myself shiver at her touch and close proximity. I am curious as to why on earth is she thanking _me_ so I softly ask, "For what?"

"For being you, for being my best friend, for being here with me now"

I smile to myself and turn my head to look deeply in to her eyes, "what happened with Hoyt was not your fault, Jane. Of course I'm here. I should be the one thanking you for saving my life"

I lean up to offer her a soft, warm, grateful kiss on the cheek. I linger a little more than I should. I savour the taste of her skin before leaning back to see Jane's eyes open as she smiles at me. I notice the reddening of her cheeks again. Perhaps my original hypothesis was incorrect.

I notice Jane lift her free arm to take another drink but I stop her, "Perhaps it's time for bed, Jane?"

She smirks at me, knowing that there's no point arguing, "Fine, I think you should stay here. I'm not gonna let you drive. Call me selfish but I would also like you close tonight"

I smile because I know there is no point arguing with her either, "Okay if you'll have me then I'd like to stay"

Jane offers a beaming smile as she stands and offers her hand to me, "Come on, Doctor Isles, let's get you to bed"

I detect a slightly flirtatious tone in her voice and demeanour but I simply smile and take her hand. With an unexpected force she pulls me up off the couch and guides me to her bedroom.

* * *

**Jane's POV**

I smile at Maura as I pull her by the hand up off of the couch. I notice that she blushed a little at my last comment which was, admittedly, a little flirtier than usual. I don't know what's gotten in to me tonight, I really don't. I'm out of it, I'm tired, I'm drunk and I'm exhausted.

I hold Maura's hand as I guide us through the hallway and in to my room. Her hand feels so soft and warm, it sends tingles through my body and I feel like I never want to let her go. As we hit my bedroom door I look back to her and gesture with my free hand, "Ladies first, of course"

Maura simply smiles at me and I swear to god she bats her eye lashes at me. She wonders past me, my room is dimly lit by a single lamp on the bedside table.

"I'm so tired, I think I'm just gonna sleep in my underwear. If you would like a shirt or something go for it, Maur"

I begin unzipping my pants. Maura doesn't respond immediately. Instead she just stands there observing my actions a lot closer than a best friend probably should.

"Oh. Okay. I'll just grab something from your drawer" she eventually responds. I swear I noticed a stutter in there. Maura walks over to the dresser like she's on a mission, or maybe I just caught her checking me out.

I climb in to bed and see that Maura managed to find one of my Red Sox shirts. I lay on my bed, elevated by my shoulders, observing Maura through the reflection of the mirror on my dresser. She is pulling her dress down over her hips as I take in her beautiful figure. Her toned stomach is accentuated by perfect curves and I notice her full breasts, perhaps more than a best friend should. I swallow, hard, and try to breathe but I can't seem to take my eyes off Maura.

I feel blood rise to my face in a heated blush. That same rush of blood also shoots in a southern direction, causing me to the hell Jane, Maura is your _female _best friend and you are not meant to be checking her out. After removing her heels she returns to the standing position and peers in to the mirror. Our eyes lock for what feels like a lifetime and the intensity sends shivers down my spine. _Shit_.

I quickly look away in the hope of regaining some composure, or at least a moment to comprehend what the hell is going on right now. First I look to the ceiling, but it doesn't work. There is some weird ass magnetic pull in the air and my eyes are back on her.

"Jane?" she quietly asks in a soft inquisitive tone.

I don't answer, I can't right now. I need a moment here. Screw this. I lay down in a huff, letting out a frustrated sigh. She places her things neatly on the floor, as always, and starts walking over to the bed. I look, without lifting my head, to see her in a sexy set of red lacy underwear. What the hell Maura, no tee? As if this isn't hard enough right now.

I feel the mattress shift as she climbs on, moving her body up to her side of the bed. She lies on her side facing me but I'm too focused on remembering how to breathe to even look at her. I don't want Maura to see my face right now so I lean over to turn off the light. It's a little darker but I can still feel her eyes on me.

"Jane?" she repeats but this tone is different, it almost sounds suggestive.

I realize there's no getting around this, I have to answer eventually so I clear my throat and answer in a husky tone, "yes, Maura?" is all I could muster. I really don't know what to say right now, it's like I'm paralysed or something.

"Did you feel what I felt before?"

God, I have no idea how to answer that. Think Jane, think.

"Umm yeah I guess. I don't know, Maura, I am feeling a bit weird tonight"

My heart races as I run my last words over and over in my head, analysing what the hell she might take from it. I feel her body shift closer to me and there's warmth radiating off of her skin.

"It's okay, Jane. I understand. In fact, I think i'm feeling quite similar. Did you know that adrenaline can cause an increased libido and arousal?"

Wow, okay. I really, really did not expect that. But this _is_ Maura, so I guess I should. I literally think I've stopped breathing when she shifts even closer. Our upper bodies are fully touching, the shared warmth could become a fire hazard. I feel scared for a moment. Scared that I'll see red again and react out of that place I don't quite understand yet.

"Jane..." she quietly purrs my name, not a question but more of a statement. She lifts her arm and reaches her hand out to stroke my cheek. Her hand feels so wonderful on my cheek. I could swear there are sparks shooting out of every nerve she gently caresses. I attempt to squeeze my thighs together in order to contain the undeniable warmth growing down there too. I feel her one of her fingers shift toward my mouth. The deep breath I force myself to take doesn't seem to offer any oxygen.

"Jane...do you feel this..." she purrs in a tone that is incredibly sexy. Her fingers brush over my bottom lip before moving upward. My eyes close but my mouth goes in to auto-pilot and to welcome her touch. I know she's still looking at me, I can feel her stare piercing my skin. I can't help myself anymore. I kiss her fingers tenderly I hear her sigh. I roll over to face her and I see a look in her eyes that I've never seen before. I hold her fingers to my mouth before slowly sliding them inside. I roll my tongue over the tips and she moans as I suck harder.

Something has built to a peak inside me now and I'm looking over the edge. I don't understand much at this point but I don't care. All I know is for the first time in my life this risk feels worth it and-

"Jane...please..."

I'm distracted as her hand shifts down from my face along my neck to my collar bone. The friction caused by the movement of her touch sends me over the edge. I thrust my body on top of hers in a swift motion that not only startles her but startles me too. I grab her wrists, almost roughly, and pin them above her head. I slide my hips between hers, pushing our lower halves together to achieve the maximim amount of friction.

I hold her there with our faces mere inches apart. Our eyes are locked as we pant short desperate breaths. Her chest is pressed tightly against mine, our tits begin their very own war of friction. My body takes control as I buck my hips in to hers. We share a united moan at the sensation and I repeat the action. She is the most breathtaking thing I have ever seen in my life.

"Maura, you are..." I pause uncertain of the right words because there are too many. The look in her eyes could only be interpreted as pure desire. Maura bucks her hips in to mine and arches her chest practically begging me for more contact.

"Please, Jane...just kiss me"

And with that I kiss her with a passion I didn't know that I possessed.

* * *

**Maura's POV**

I had been feeling increasingly aroused from the couch and it became almost unbearable once I caught Jane staring at my body. I was patient, I could tell she felt what I felt but she didn't know how to take what she wanted. As I began to touch her cheek and lips, I felt her skin catch on fire. It doesn't matter how we got here, her lips are on mine and her hips grinding against me.

Jane is kissing me in a way no one else has. It is a kiss with fuelled by an insatiable hunger and need. Her hips are moving against mine and the pace increasing. Jane has my hands pinned above my head and I feel completely at her disposal.

She stops her onslaught to pull her face away from mine. I moan at the loss of contact and miss the sensation of her lips on mine. She hovers over me and looks in to my eyes. I can tell Jane is searching for something, more than likely seeking permission. I hope that no more words are necessary tonight so I simply nod.

I stare in to Jane's eyes as she removes one of her hands from its tight grip on my wrist and lowers it to my cheek. It doesn't stay there long before beginning a painfully slow journey down my body. My back arches as she moves over my neck and collarbone. I hear her moan as she grazes my right breast. I watch her as she laps up the sight of me and I'm thrilled that she likes what she sees.

After a relatively short pause to grope me she continues her descent. I twitch as I feel her fingers graze over my stomach. She observes her own movement down my body and I feel her shiver as she reaches her destination. Jane looks back up to me as our eyes are lock once again. Her fingertips begin to play with the waistband of my lace panties.

I lick my lips and she hungrily follows the movement of my tongue with her eyes. I hear her swallow before returning her eyes to mine. She is still playing with the fabric of the waistband and I can tell she is uncertain whether to progress.

"Jane...I need...I need you to make me forget", I whisper what sounds like a desperate plea.

I want to reassure her that this is what I want. I need her to help me forget him but I can see she is torn. I try to read her in the hope of understanding how she might have interpreted my words. But she looks frozen in place, almost afraid. Her hand is still hovering remarkably close to where I need it, but not close enough.

Remembering that I have a freed hand, I move it between our bodies. I place my hand flat on her stomach before running it up and down her delectable abs. She shivers at the touch but is still frozen in place. This time I start even lower by cupping her through her underwear and sliding my hand up ever so slowly until it reaches her left breast. Jane moans my name as I pinch the hard point through her bra.

I buck my hips upward to remind her of the permission I just granted, through words _and_ action. She came back to me and I can see the arousal in her eyes. She lifts her left leg over my right thigh, locking it between hers, and now I can _feel _how aroused she is. I firmly rock my thigh in to her to create more friction, she moans and grinds herself back against me.

All of a sudden her hand moves past the barrier of my panties. I let out a small cry of pleasure. I didn't expect her to take me this hard or this fast. I almost leap off the bed at the contact and my free hand moves down to grip her. My nails dig in to her shoulder and Jane gasps as I break the skin.

If it were anyone else I wouldn't care. But this is Jane, "Jane, I'm so-"

"Please...just do it again"

Jane pants as she tries to speak. I still understand her request and plan to oblige. She increases the pace and slams her body in to mine with such force I know I'll be sore tomorrow. I gasp each time our hips connect and my hand moves to the center of her back to pull her even closer.

I use this position to grip on to Jane with my fingers and allow my nails to act of their own accord. She clenches her teeth as they pierce the sensitive skin covering her central vertebrae.

Jane relentlessly intensifies her ministrations. Her ability to create an almost unbearable state of pleasure borders on pain. It isn't long before I feel my body elevating in to blissful oblivion and at this moment all else is forgotten.

* * *

**I just wanted to say thank you very much for taking the time to read. As I said this is my first fic, so please drop me a line. Criticism is welcomed with open arms.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for reading guys, and please let me know what you think.  
**

**JPOV**

I don't know how long I was asleep, it barely felt like five minutes. My eyes flutter as I open one to assess the time. Fuck it's 9am, I slept longer than I thought. As my body starts to wake I notice additional warmth radiating from another source. Muscles become alert and I feel extra weight pinning me to the bed. My right arm feels numb, something is squashing it.

Finally, I shoot my eyes open to investigate. Jesus it's _Maura_ spooned against me. She is resting on my arm, face is nuzzled in to my neck. Her upper body sprawled across my naked chest, holding me close. Fuck, I'm naked and so is she. Maura's upper thigh is hooked between my parted legs, touching my bare crotch. Then it hits me.

_Fuck._ We had sex last night.

I feel my heart start to race as Maura sleeps soundly. I look at her and can't help but notice how breathtakingly beautiful she looks right at this moment; Naked, in my bed, the smell of sex in the air.

Almost fully alert now my body starts reacting to the sensations, sights and smells. I try my best not to squirm as a rush of warmth floods through me. The location of Maura's thigh really isn't fucking helping me contain my physical reactions. Simultaneously I start to feel a sense of panic.

_What the hell does all of this mean? _

_What if she wakes up and looks at me in disgust? _

Who am I kidding; of course she's going to regret what happened. I don't know what came over me. I saw red and I could have hurt her, hell I probably did. My heart isn't slowing down, in fact it's speeding up. There's horrible ache in my stomach building, one that could only be described as guilt. I have to get the fuck out of here right now, I need to think. I can't be here when she wakes up, I just can't.

She stirs slightly and rubs her face along the crease of my neck. Somehow I manage to gently unhinge my body without waking her. I quickly throw on some gym clothes and I'm out the door with no note or explanation. Smooth Rizzoli, real smooth.

I run toward the gym. I'd hoped a sprinting pace would help ease the panic but it hasn't. The empty guilt feeling swells like an bottomless whirlpool in my stomach. Feet pound the concrete as my arms swing agressively from side to side.

I arrive at the main street near the gym to see 'normal' people enjoying their Saturday morning. It's noisy out but I feel like I can't hear anything, it all feels so far away. Thoughts are still racing against one another, my attempted distraction is failing miserably.

Not one to give up, I maintain the fast pace i've kept since leaving my apartment. Damn it, I can't get Maura out of my head. I'm the one who kissed her, I'm the one who did all the fucking. I took advantage of her vulnerability and that was _wrong_. How the fuck can I expect her to forgive me

I have no fucking clue how I got here but I see the gym ahead. Time seems lost as I continue to drown in my thoughts. I drop down to lean my hands on my knees. My heaving almost feels like coughing. The inability to catch my breath a clear indication of how hard I pushed myself.

I close my eyes to focus on my breath but it offers no relief as snapshot of last night flashes in my mind;

**_Maura lays beneath me after her intense climax. I stare down at her in awe of how sexy she looks right in the afterglow. She is panting, her body twitching as she returns to me. I look in to her eyes and for a moment I swear I can see what could only be described as love. She grabs the back of my neck, pulling me down to her. Our naked sweaty bodies flush against each other. I don't think I have ever felt something this tender, intimate or raw. She purrs in to my ear, 'thank you'  
_**

The sound of a car horn snaps me back to reality. I shake off the memory, get my shit together and head inside the gym.

I'm relieved to find my favourite punching bag free. It's time to start my next round of physical torture. I need this release so badly it hurts. I begin to strap up, not that I really give a shit about the pain right now. The powder feels smooth and delicate; like Maura's hands. The memory of her touch calms me and a small surge of warmth pumps through my heart. It's a fleeting moment of calm as I remember pinning those soft hands above her head. I could have hurt her.

All strapped up I start punching the bag as hard and fast as I can. The speed and repitition is relentless but my brain refuses to give up. Why did I have to go and fuck everything up. Maura is my best friend, no one has ever meant this much to me. Sure, sometimes I wonder if I love her a little _too _much but the point is I'm not in to women.

We all get feelings mixed up sometimes, I've admired certain ladies more than I should. Admiring a woman is one thing, fucking them is a whole different story. Okay, fine, I did have sex with a woman last night. But it was Maura, if she doesn't have her own category then she should.

Sweat is forming across my forehead, I haven't slowed my pace or the power of my punches. I feel my arms starting to burn and I know I'm on the right path to delicious pain. Maura is the woman of anyone's dreams. But let's face it; I don't even know what the fuck I want, I'm a terrible date, I'd be an even worse partner and I'm an all-round pain in the ass.

I can't risk letting her see that _other _side of me. That side of myself is reserved for assholes I barely give a shit about. The bottom line is I'd end up hurting her or running away when things get hard. This morning being proof of that, I'm a coward. I run. She deserves the universe and I couldn't even leave a fucking note this morning. My fists are hammering the bag, sweat is dripping all over my body.

I have to talk to Maura and make her understand last night was a mistake. If we can just pretend like nothing happened, everything can go back to how it was. And maybe, just maybe, these fucked up feelings will just go away.

I focus on the painful sensation in my arms but the thought of talking to Maura feels unbearable. Moisture starts forming behind my eyes. No crying, not now, not here. Just stop, Jane. Just stop. Breath. Don't let this get to you. I can't do this, I can't let this go any further.

My hands are starting to really hurt now. I think I've caused some blistering but I don't fucking care. I ease the power in my blows but keep the pace. Just keep going Jane, keep going and it will all just disappear.

After another fifteen minutes or so I decide to call it. Plus, I need to save some energy for the jog home. Sweat is dripping down my arms and It doesn't take much to remove the strapping tape which practically slides off from all the moisture. I decide to shower at home and set off on my leisurely jog home.

As soon as I walk in the door I freeze, not even bothering to close it. Maura is standing in my kitchen looking directly at me. I pause, unsure of what to do or say.

Finally, after clearing my throat I ask, "Maura, what are you still doing here?"

It wasn't meant to sound like I was irritated or annoyed but it kinda came out that way.

She sounds a little pissed when she replies, "Hello to you too, Jane"

There is another painfully silent pause. We're both just standing there in the same position, glaring at one another and I have no fucking idea what to say.

Maura walks toward me, never once taking diverting her eyes. As she approaches I feel like I forget how to breathe, almost afraid of what could happen next.

She surprises me when she walks passed me to close the front door. I turn to see her leaning against it, like she's showing me I can't leave her again.

Her eyes lock with mine once again as she says, "Well, after you simply took off I thought I would stick around to clean up a little. And I'll be quite frank with you, Jane. If you were happy to sneak out on me like you did this morning, I'd say you are just as capable of completely shutting me out. So I thought I would wait for you in the hope that we could engage in an adult conversation about what happened last night. Does that sound like something we could do?"

* * *

**MPOV**

I really didn't mean to lecture her but right now she looks like a deer caught in headlights. There is another silent pause that I swear could be the death of both of us.

Finally, Jane clears her throat before responding, "We can try. But let me jump in the shower first, okay?"

Part of me is surprised she didn't put up more resistance, Jane is the most stubborn person I know. Relief washes over me as I nod, "Alright, Jane. I'll make you us a coffee while you shower," call it a peace offering or an apology for my lecture but I see the sides of her lips curl up as if they're on the way to a smile.

Jane heads to her room and I busy myself taking down the last of the Pretty Pony decorations. I have no idea how this conversation will go, all I can do is hope for it to be successful. Not that I know what success would be in this particular situation. All we can do is be honest with one another in order to negotiate our next steps. Any type of relationship, friendship or otherwise, is a form of negotiation and compromise. In order to reach an agreement, each party must first express their terms and conditions.

I hear the shower turn on and know Jane won't be long. She's not one to bathe for excessive amounts of time. I reach for the mugs and prepare the kettle, oh how I despise instant coffee. How does Jane drink this drudge? I laugh to myself at how many times we've argued over the benefits of instant coffee.

I feel the warmth of the water as I pour it out of the kettle and my mind drifts to the image of a naked Jane in the shower. She has an impeccable body, even as a practitioner it would be near impossible to find a flaw in her physique. A rush of arousal surges through me as I remember _that _body grinding against mine, over and over until the pleasure became white bliss.

Something furry rubbing against my ankle brings me out of my heavenly daydream, I look to see Joe Friday eagerly seeking some attention. Perhaps she's jealous. As I bend down to pat her, I hear the shower turn off.

Smiling down at the gorgeous creature below me I reassue her, "come on girl, let's go sit on the couch and wait for mama"

Joe Friday happily follows me in the living room as I sit with our instant coffees to wait for Jane to emerge. Sexual encounters, in general, rarely make me nervous. Which is I'm surprised when sudden nerves roll through my stomach.

This is my best friend, Jane is my eveything. She is not some meaningless sexual encounter. We need this conversation to go well. Even though Jane ran away from me this morning, I know she is just as scared of losing me as I am of losing her.

I can't say what happened last night took me completely by surprise. We share a deep and intimate connection, one that has continued to blossom over the years we have known each other. It is safe to say that neither of us have felt such an all consuming bond with another person, male or female. In this context, I believe it was only a matter of time before we expressed our love in a physical way.

Sexuality is fluid, especially in women, and I don't believe desire should ever be denied out of a lack of fear. I am comfortable with who I am; I've been with men and I've been with women. Jane, however, is more refined in her sexual adventures.

I've seen the way she looks at me at times; eyes filled with an admiration much stronger and much more powerful than platonic friendship. Sure, a significant portion of our everday interaction involves an element of sexual tension. My word, when put it in _this_ context everything seems even more obvious.

I would not be opposed to further physical exploration with Jane. In fact, I would thoroughly enjoy pursuing that avenue of our relationship. My ability to separate sex from friendship is a skill learn over time and one that Jane is less likely to embrace. If I were to push Jane in to something that comes unnatural to her, it would be a fatal mistake. I push, she runs.

I hear shuffling in the room as Jane re-enters the room dressed in a tank top and jean shorts. Gosh, she looks positively edible. She walks toward me as she continues drying her hair with a towel. Finally she reaches the couch and takes a seat a little too far away for my liking, but I accept it.

She is yet to make eye contact, immediately peering down to the table, "thanks for the coffee," I smile and offer, "no problem, Jane"

As she reaches out to take her cup, I notice the scratches on her shoulder. Instantly I remember being the culprit for those, and a flush of warmth travels to my face. I sigh before reaching out to touch the damaged skin. Immediately she tenses up, hissing as my finger makes contact with her skin. I feel her pull away from me and it makes me sad.

"I'm sorry, Jane. Is it painful?"

Silence looms over us, she still hasn't looked at me. Her eyes are glued to the mug in her hand. I hear her clear her throat, "Uh, well I hadn't noticed until you touched it so I guess not"

I'm not sure whether to be relieved or upset because that probably means she's been throwing herself in to some other form of torment this morning. I observe her closed body language before asking softly, "Where did you go this morning?"

She starts to fidget which is a clear indicator of her nerves, "I, uh, went for a run to the gym. Just needed to clear my head is all," when she talks her voice is shaky. I start to think about what to say next when she continues, "I'm sorry I took off like that, Maur"

I know she means it, her tone is soft and sincere. I want to make her feel safe, "I understand. I appreciate your apology"

Quiet fills the room once again, it's now or never but where to start. I doubt Jane will initiate the next part of our discussion, I opt to take a deep breath in the hope of grounding myself.

I need her to look at me, I need to see her eyes, "Please look at me, Jane"

After a moment of hesitation, she indulges my request. The moment our eyes lock, the rest of the world fades to black. Her woeful brown eyes are filled with anxiety, confusion but above all fear. I try, with all I have, to convey comfort and reassurance through my gaze but it seems to make no difference to her anguish.

In a gentle yet strong voice I softly tell her, "it's only me, Jane, there is nothing to be afraid of"

She holds our gaze but her eyes falter slightly, "I'm not...it's not..."

She stutters and I can sense how nervous she is and I'm trying not to push her, "what are you scared of, Jane?"

"Last night, what I did"

"What _we_ did, Jane. You didn't do anything I didn't want you to"

"I don't know what came over me, Maur. I'm sorry," her apology is so raw and genuine.

"Aside from running out on me this morning, which you've already apologised for, you have nothing to be sorry for"

She looks down and begins rubbing at her scars. Jane's nerves clearly are building, "I do though, I wasn't myself last night. I could have hurt you"

"But you didn't hurt me. In fact, it was highly pleasurable," I say with complete honesty and my tone becomes a tad playful. It isn't long before Jane dampens the air with a deep warning tone.

"Don't, Maura"

"Don't what, Jane? Speak the truth? Tell you that I enjoyed having sex with you last night?"

"Don't talk like its a _normal_ everyday thing to happen between best friends"

"Fine, maybe its not exactly a normal exhange between platonic friends. But Jane, what we have has never been _normal_"

"I don't know what you mean"

"I think you do," I say with a firm definitive voice.

"No, I really don't. I'm not gay, Maura. I don't see you like _that_"

"I never said you were gay"

"Are you...?"

"Am I gay, no. Bisexual, yes. Am I attracted to you, in a word yes. However, my admiration and fondness of you as my closest dearest friend outweighs any physical response I might occasionally feel for you. But Jane... I would not have been able to engage in our activities last night had I _not_ been attracted to you"

"Okaaay, wow. That's, uh, that's a lot"

"Look, I understand this might feel overwhelming right now but it doesn't have to. I just need you to tell me how you feel about what happened last night and what your thoughts are on what happens next. You know I have been and always will be honest with you. All is ask is that you do the same for me"

"Fair enough, Maur. Umm, I am feelin a bit shocked right now but I promise I'll try okay?"

"That is all I can ask"

"Uh, well I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy last night. It was hot, you're hot Maur," her cheeks redden as she pauses to clear her throat,"but, uh, as I said I don't know what came over me. I wasn't myself and I guess it had a lot to do with everything that went down with Hoyt"

I feel slightly hurt that his name had to be spoken and this conversation had to become about him. But I know, and can appreciate, that Jane is right. Last night's events with that sick bastard had a significant impact on both of our emotional states. My train of thought is interrupted as Jane continues,

"All I know for sure is that the fear I felt when Hoyt touched you is as bad as the fear I feel at the thought of losing you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and last night I almost threw that away. I was a fool for risking what we have and I made a mistake, I'm sorry"

It's pathetic, I almost want to cry. Some of her words mean so much, but some of them cut like a knife. I understand where she is coming from, she has to say the words though.

"What would you like to do now, Jane? You need to say it"

"Can we go back to being best friends, please? I just want everything to go back to how it was"

"Considering my ability to engage in casual sex better than you, Jane, if this is what you want I can give you that. If that is what you desire, it can be like we flipped a switch and erased last night from our memories"

"God, Maura, why do you have to make an agreement to forget about having sex _sound_ sexy? What the hell!"

"Ah, but see. We're already back to how we were"

I'm glad to see her smile at me, I offer one in return. I can't say I am entirely pleased at the conclusion we have reached. Jane has always struck me as someone who requires patients. Lucky for her I was always proud to be the tortoise not the hare, and I _always_ win the race.

**TBC**

**Please let me know what you think guys, it would mean a lot. There are interesting things ahead, hope you decide to stick around :)  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for sticking with me guys :) We now jump ahead to the end of episode 2.12.**

**JPOV**

"I like Tommy, a lot, but I love you. And I hate it when you hate me. So I don't wanna do anything that could compromise our friendship"

"Good, 'cos I hate it when I have to hate you"

"Sip it slowly"

We playfully argue over the horrific wine, giggling to one another. I hear my phone buzz at my hip, "Frankie sent me a text saying get down to the Robber. The guys are celebrating Tommy's freedom. Seeing as the alcohol here tastes like ass, fancy heading over?"

"Sure, let me just pop to the bathroom and throw on a jacket"

"Wow, Dr Isles, telling me she _doesn't_ need four hours to get ready"

"Ha ha, Jane. Keep pushing and I will take my time"

She smiles at me and walks toward the bathroom. Being the hypocrite that I am, I decide to change my shirt. I head to my room to change and wait for Maura.

Twenty minutes later we're walking in to the Robber. I find Frankie, Tommy, Frost and Korsak piled in to a booth. Before sitting down I offer, "Any of you assholes need another drink? Maura wine?"

She smiles and nods as she sits down next to Frankie, "Thank you, Jane"

None of the guys respond, instead they lift there empty glasses as a signal. Tommy gets out of the booth and follows me to the bar. On the other side I notice two guys sitting having a beer, both of sets of eyes almost falling out of their heads as they notice Maura. I watch them ogle her and imagine all the dirty things they're talking about doing to her. _Yuck._

The bartender approaches our side and we order the drinks. Tommy puts an arm around my shoulder, "None for me, sis, I'm as clean as a pastor," I smile and tell him, "Good, I'm glad to her that little brother"

Our drinks arrive but finally he stops me, "Janie, I just wanted to say thanks for having my back today. My ass would be in the clink right now if it wasn't for you. And hey I'm sorry about the mix up with ya know, Maura and stuff"

I smile at him, knowing that I am still kinda pissed about that. But we grab the drinks and carry them back over to the booth. We pass them around and we all offer cheers to Tommy staying clean. This time.

Frankie scoots down the booth and Maura follows suit so I climb in to sit beside her. Our knees brush under the table, the closeness instantly alerting my body. We'd been doing well since that fateful night after Hoyt. It had been two weeks and like Maura promised it had been like a switch had been thrown. We were acting like two best friends who had never fucked each other.

Our interactions at work were the same as they always had been. Occasionally our eyes would linger too long. But let's face it; it's not like that hasn't happened before. We still spent the same amount of time together outside of work; I was relieved none of that had to change.

Maura was careful about touching me though and I could tell she was holding back sometimes. There were times I held back too. She was holding back out of respect for me, I was holding back out of fear. Tonight was the closest we'd been, physically, since that night and it scared the crap out of me how much it affected me. It was only our knees and thighs brushing, fully clothed, for fucks sake.

I realize I'm off in my own little world when I hear Maura's voice. Her and the guys are chatting around me, I tune back in to the conversation looking up to see Frost looking directly at me. Out of any of the guys, Frost always seems to know if something's up.

"Jane, you good?" he asks me.

I clear my throat and offer a slight smile before responding, "Yeah, just need a drink is all"

Frost observes as I grab my beer and down it in three gulps, tilting his head with respect at my ability.

"What do ya say I grab us a pitcher?" he asks and without waiting for an answer he's already two steps toward the bar. God, I love that man. It's like he can read my mind.

A few hours and more than a few drinks later we sit in the booth comparing macho cop stories. Korsak decided to hit the whisky and somehow managed to talk me in to joining him. As always, the old fart is ranting about the good old days. But I don't mind. I like his stories; it helps me keep shit in perspective.

Maura is busy comparing I-phone apps with Frost and Frankie. Tommy is just sitting in the corner checking her out, what an asshole. He notices me watching him and smirks at me before diverting his eyes. As always, Maura is oblivious to the male attention. I dart my eyes behind Tommy and can see that those other two jerks at the bar are still eye fucking Maura. My case in point, the jury is out.

I turn to look at her and notice that she is quite tipsy. Her cheeks glowing and she's way over-excited about such a mundane conversation, which says a lot when you compare it to sober Maura. She notices me listening and turns her head to smile at me. As she turns I feel her breath on my arm. This brings to my attention that out of habit my left arm must have crept up behind her head and is resting along the top of the booth. It's not out of the ordinary for us, but I guess it's not very _friendly_ like either.

Being Maura, she leans in to my chest and holds out her I-phone. Her shoulder is grazing my left breast and each time she moves her hand it creates a painfully delightful friction. I hope to hell she can't feel my nipple harden.

She's still her playing with her phone, I know she's talking but I can't hear a thing. I'm trying to control the blush that's flooding my body, _please god not here._ I feel her nudge my side with her elbow to grab my attention, "what do you think, Jane?"

I clear my throat; I have no idea what the hell she is talking about. Damn her and distracting body. My level of intoxication is not helping any chance I have of lessening a physical reaction to her. Now that I know what her body feels like naked and writhing beneath me I am all but a slave to its power.

I know better than to ask her to repeat her story ''cos we'd be here all night, "Yeah, Maur, it's pretty cool"

She stares in to my eyes, lowering them to my neck to observe the lingering flush. It's like she knows the effect she has on me.

"Were you even listening to me?" her voice is playful, almost mocking but I refuse to let her win.

"Of course I was. Look, you know I'm not technical. You and Frost can have your little I-club, I'm happy to remain down here with the peasants. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to pee like a racehorse"

"Classy, Jane"

"What can I say, I like being a peasant"

She smiles at me as I rush off to the bathroom. I need some space. I need to clear my head. After peeing and throwing cold water over my face I re-enter the bar. I walk back over to the booth and notice Tommy has taken my exact position sitting next to Maura. The prick even has his arm around her. Maura sees me approach and immediately flinches. I come within a meter before turning on my heels in a huff.

I storm over to the bar and order two shots which I really don't fucking need. I down the first and as I'm about to smash the second I feel a touch on my elbow. Maura is standing next to me, her hand stays put like she thinks it'll make a difference. I peer over to see the guys watching from the booth. They notice my death stare and pretend to talk amongst themselves.

I pull my elbow away from her, "is something the matter, Jane?"

I don't mean to sound too harsh but I know it sounds it, "Why were you talking to Tommy?"

"God, Jane, this again. If you must know he was apologizing for trying to kiss me"

"Oh I'm sure he was," the sarcasm in my voice comes across harsh.

She leans in closer to me as she says, "Why does this bother you so much? Are you being a protective sister or are you just being jealous?"

"Pfft, I'm not jealous," I brush it off, moving my eye away from hers, "jealous of what?"

"Okay, you're not jealous. How about telling me what the problem is"

"Fuck it, don't worry. Do whatever you wanna do, Maura. I'm gettin another round"

"I think you've had enough, Jane"

"I told you to go do whatever you want, how about you let me do the same?"

"Fine, have it your way," she picks up my shot of whisky and downs it before walking around to the other side of the bar. Maura glides over to the two sleazebags and offers them an earth shattering smile. Jesus, Maura, maybe I didn't give you enough credit.

I stand at the bar observing. Stupid men, thinking they've caught their prey. Little do they know it's the other way around; Maura is the hunter and they are the hunted. One of the guys buys her some fancy ass cocktail which she seductively swallows in a few sexy sips. Her fingers trace the empty glass, indicating the desire for round two. God, she's good.

She turns to place her empty glass on the bar and locks eyes with me. It's a look filled with many emotions, but the ultimate message being _this is what you asked for, this is what you get. _A moment ago I was feeling slightly aroused by her seduction techniques but now I just feel hurt. How can one look punch me square in the stomach and make me want to cry. Pathetic.

The bartender finally gives me some attention after serving Maura another snobby cocktail. He pours me two more shots which I gulp down in a flash. I want this fucked up feeling to go away, why do I care who Maura sleeps with? One of the jerks offers his arm out to her and she loops her hand through, they walk out the bar with the other jerk following closely behind. I swallow and try to shake it off.

I look over to the booth and notice Tommy's gone. I walk over to the guys and ask where he went, Frost points outside. A fresh emotion forms, one that offers temporary relief so I go with it. I storm outside, anger churning in my gut, to find Tommy pissing in the alleyway.

In a spiteful tone, I spit at Tommy, "Hey little brother, ego get a little bruised tonight huh? About time I guess"

"What the fuck is your problem, Jane? Go have another drink, I'm chuckin a piss"

"You're my problem, asshole. Stay away from Maura"

"Whatever, Jane. Did you even ask her what happened? I tried to kiss her and she pushed me away. That's it. Nothing happened so get the fuck over it will ya"

"I see the way you look at her, don't tell me nothing happened"

"Seriously, you are drunk. Sure, Maura's hot and I'd be blind not to notice her. I can't change what I think but much to my disappointment, nothing happened!"

"Why should I believe you, you're a compulsive liar"

"Believe whatever the fuck you want"

"Oh I will, but if you ever-"

"Christ, Jane, get your head out of your ass. If you want her then maybe you should grow some fucking balls, take a leaf out of my book and make a move. Oh shit, it looks like your too late. She's already got her fuck for tonight"

I see red and launch at Tommy, "you don't know what the hell you're talking about! And you don't you dare about Maura like that!"

Everything is blurred and all of a sudden my hand is killing me. Tommy has ducked to the curb and Frost is pulling me back, _where the hell did he come from?_

"Jane, stop. Just stop," Frost says as he holds me by the shoulders, "Tommy go inside," and Tommy does. It's me and Frost in the alley, I have no idea what happened.

"How long you been out here?"

"Long enough. You took a swing, Tommy ducked and you smashed your hand on the wall," he pulls me under the light to check out my hand, "it's pretty bad, Jane"

I don't give a shit, I can't feel it. Everything feels numb, everything but the burning in my stomach that started the moment Maura left with that douche bag.

_Whatever, she can do what she wants. But I wish it had been me. _

_No you don't, Jane, she's your best friend. You had your chance and you fucked it up, like you always do._

My drunken inner dialogue unleashes itself. Out of nowhere tears form in my eyes and I feel like my chest is going to implode. I try to hold them back but the booze ain't letting me. The floodgates open and here I am drunk in an alleyway, balling my god damn eyes out.

_Real classy Rizzoli, real classy._

* * *

**MPOV**

I left the Robber with two lawyers I met at the bar. I had felt their eyes on me all night and I was on a tipsy level, complimented by the attention I was receiving. I could tell one of them wanted to take me home, most likely for sex, however that was not my intention. I told him I would like to catch a cab home and he asked for my number. I politely accepted his request, not one to rule out a potential mate,

The cab is quiet, with no music to distract me. I start to rehash the events of this evening, primarily Jane's behaviour, and it makes me feel frustrated. Why can't she just talk to me? All I can do is give her an option but if she chooses not to take it there is simply nothing more I can do. I can tell she is jealous of Tommy and I. In fact, she seems jealous when I interact with most men.

How am I meant to understand how she is feeling if what she says and how she behaves are entirely different things. She insists we are only friends, nothing more. But I see how her body responds to mine. It pains me to observe just how dedicated she is to fighting that truth.

It was not my intention to play games tonight. I only wanted her to understand that I will not be lied to and my life will not be put on hold if she chooses to run from this. I don't want her to be in pain, but she has to realize she's the only one capable of alleviating it.

I am almost home when I hear my phone buzz. A text from Detective Frost pops up;

**"FYI Jane smashed her hand pretty bad. I'm taking her home. Just thought you'd like to know, doc"**

I sigh, why does this not surprise me. Jane was extremely intoxicated tonight and headed for trouble, I never should have left her. But since our relationship has changed so have the rules. There are even more lines I cannot cross, any further attempt at reasoning with her was one of them. Jane was on a path of destruction tonight and nothing could have stopped her. As a doctor, though, I can offer assistance in the aftermath.

A decision made, I call out to the taxi driver, "excuse me, sir, but there has been a change of plan"

Fifteen minutes later and I'm outside Jane's apartment. As I walk up the street I notice Frost's car parked out front. I enter the hallway and walk up the steps to Jane's door. I don't bother knocking, I use my key instead. Sudden nerves hit me as the uncertainty of Jane's reaction to my presence creeps in.

After a deep breath, I enter her apartment to see her sitting on the couch. Her eyes are closed with her head lying back on the head rest, Frost is sitting next to her with ice in his hand. He hears the door and looks up at me, "Hey doc, sorry to have bothered you. Thank god you're here"

He seems incredibly relieved to see me but Jane hasn't opened her eyes or acknowledged my presence yet. Frost gives me a head tilt, signalling toward the kitchen before standing up. I close the door behind me and follow his lead.

We stand over the kitchen island. He looks concerned and upset so I ask what happened.

He goes to speak but pauses. When he finally continues he speaks quietly, "After you left, Jane followed Tommy out to the alley. I walked out to catch the end of it. She took a swing at him but hit the wall," another pause, after nervously clearing his throat he continues, "Doc, you should know that the fight was about you"

Once again, I can't say I'm surprised. But I am curious, "in what way, Barry?"

"Look I don't know what happened with you and Tommy, or what's going on with you and Jane. That's your business," I am a little taken aback by his approach and as I go to respond he continues, "But, doc, Jane is my partner and she was hurting tonight. I have her back, I always will, but I can't if I don't know what the hell is upsetting her so much"

I appreciate where he is coming from, "I understand," I start to speak but he cuts me off, "Please, let me finish. I'm not an idiot, I see things between you two. I'm not here to preach because I also know that what you and Jane have is something none of us could ever hope to figure out. All I ask is that you fix whatever this is so she stops acting like this. She needs you, doc"

I take in his words and admire his concern, "I hear you, Barry. I can't promise she won't ever do this again, not even I can control Jane's behaviour," he manages to smile at this comment, "but I will do my very best to fix this. You have my word"

He offers an appreciative nod. I hold out my hand and he places the ice pack in it, "I'll take it from here. Thank you, Barry"

"Okay, no problem. Call me if you need anything. Goodnight doc," as he heads toward the door he turns to Jane, "goodnight, Jane. Get some rest," in return she mumbles something followed by a groan.

I walk over to the couch and sit on the table opposite her. I reach for her, "Jane, it's Maura. May I take a look at your hand?" she finally opens her eyes ever so slightly and gazes at me.

"Mauuuuura," her level of intoxication is evident as she mumbles my name, "What are you doing here?"

"Frost text me to let me know what you did to your hand, I came to check on it," I meet her gaze and reply softly, "now can you walk? I believe I left a kit in your bathroom," she sighs and I help her stand.

We stumble to the bathroom and I sit her on the closed toilet seat knowing she's too unsteady for the bathtub. I notice blood on the sleeves of her white shirt, "take off your shirt, Jane"

She lets out a giggle followed by a hiccup, "trying to get me naked, Dr Isles?"

Of course she would resort to flirting right now. As foolish as it is a blush reddens my cheeks, "no, that is not my purpose. You have blood on your shirt. Unless you would like it to remain there permantly, I suggest you remove it so that I can place it in the wash"

I hear her giggle again as she starts unbuttoning her shirt, "Gee, how romantic. When you say it like that, how can I resist"

I take the shirt to the laundry and return to the bathroom with a small tub. After filling it with warm water and antiseptic I tell her, "put your hand in here for a few minutes, please" and she follows my instruction.

I start wiping the blood off her toned forearms and ask, "Are you going to tell me what happened with Tommy tonight?"

She tenses up at the question and retorts, "I dunno, are you gonna tell me what happened with those two assholes you left with?"

"Jane," I warn her with a firm tone, "I'm not the one who could have seriously injured her hand. But if you must know, nothing happened. I wasn't planning on sleeping with either of them, we simply exchanged numbers and bid our farewell. Now, it's your turn"

Jane huffs at me in defeat but her eyes tell me two emotions; disappointed and relief. I've finished cleaning the blood off her arms so I pull her injured hand out of the tub, placing the used cloth in it by my feet.

I tear off the packets of some anti-septic wipes and warn her, "this might sting but it doesn't mean you get out of explaining, Jane"

My eyes leave hers and journey to her hand. I feel her flinch and take a deep breath as the anticipated sting burns the cuts. Finally she speaks, "I was drunk and Tommy was being an ass. I don't even really remember what happened but I didn't like the way he spoke about you so I threw down"

"_Threw _down? What is this, Jane, the WWE? And it's throw down, there is no such thing as threw down," I couldn't help myself, she sounded ridiculous. A bit of humour can't hurt right now.

She flinches again as I hit another sensitive cut, "whatever, Maura. Even though I was a drunken mess and missed him, he deserved it"

"Jane, for the last time, nothing happened between Tommy and I. But he is a male and he is attracted to me, you can't blame him for being human"

"Oooh look who's being vain," she playfully twirls my hair with her good hand, which successfully distracts me from my work with the other, "ouch! That hurt! Go easy, Maur...jeez"

"Sorry, you distracted me"

I focus on the cleaning the last cuts on Jane's hand, I can feel her eyes following my every move. I'm trying to keep my mind off of the fact she's topless, mere inches from my face. It's as if she senses my nerves and decides to fill the heavy silence, "so I'm not gonna die, doc?"

"No, Jane, the result of your injury will not be that dramatic. I have almost finished cleaning the abrasions on your hand. We will need to ice it to avoid swelling. But first I need to dress and bandage your hand to avoid infection"

After a few more wipes, I reach for the plastic dressings to cover the abrasions. Once I am satisfied they are fully covered I begin to gently bandage her hand. It's tight but well covered, I have done a good job if I say so myself.

"All done, Jane. Let me just put this stuff away and we'll get you some ice," I stand and turn to the sink, throwing the empty packets in the bin and rinsing the bloody cloth. I look down at the contrast between the red liquid and white tile. _Why must you hurt yourself, Jane. _

A moment after my silent thought, I feel Jane behind me. She's close and I can feel her breath on my shoulder. My eyes shift up from the sink to the mirror and I see her staring in to my eyes through the reflection.

"Thank you for fixing my hand," she whispers in to my ear.

Our bodies aren't touching, not yet, but with the level of head radiating between us they might as well be. My heart starts to race and my breathing becomes erratic as I whisper, "anytime, Jane. You know that," I feel her mouth shift from my ear to my neck as she places a soft kiss there. Finally, she pushes her body against mine. She looks in to my eyes as I swallow and I have to force myself to continue, "But I wish you would just talk to me instead of reacting like you did"

Her body tenses against me, I don't want this to stop but I know it should. Some things have to be said. As soon as I felt her against me, it's like any sense or logic melted in to a pool of liquid flowing down my body away from my brain. I keep my eyes on her but she follows her hands as one enters the sink while the other shuts off the water.

Once off, her hand on the tap follows the length of my arm to hit my back. Her fingers gently teasing my aching muscles, before beginning a downward motion to land on my hip. I see her eyes lock on my hips and in response, my hips automatically jerk backward to grind against her. Finally Jane's eyes return to the mirror to lock with mine as she leans her hips forward and moans in my ear.

"Maur, this is crazy" her words sound like a whimper, or a cry for help. I can tell she is overwhelmed by these feelings and I want to help her feel at ease. I can't though. How can I, if I'm completely taken by them too.

We stop everything; moving, breathing, thinking, feeling and just look in to each other's eyes. It gets too much for Jane and she closes them, running away from the intensity. I realize I need to say something, anything, just something.

"Jane, I think we should-"

"Stay with me, tonight, please"

I was about to suggest stopping whatever this is. A suggestion that goes against everything that my body desperately craves. And now Jane opens her eyes to eagerly await my response. Suddenly I feel trapped by her and I need to able to process the situation. I push back from the sink and turn around to face her. Now the playing field is even, I maintain some level of contact by holding my hands against her collar bone.

Jane is looking at me with endless questions in her eyes, anxiously awaiting an answer. I sigh, "I don't think that's a very wise idea, Jane. You've had a lot to drink tonight, as have I, and it has been quite an eventful evening" she looks away from me, frustrated but then looks back at me with a hopeful gaze, "I appreciate your offer, but I don't think you mean it the way I want you to mean it"

And there it is, the punch line. Instantly she looks confused, then hurt before finally landing on angry. She pulls away from me to sit back down on the toilet seat, dropping her head slightly to rub her forehead with her good hand. A heavy silence saturates the air. She starts to speak a few times before stopping herself.

Finally she responds, "Well, what if right now I do mean it the way you want me to? Okay, yeah I've had a bit to drink but I don't know what the hell you want from me"

Jane's response frustrates me, it completely contradicts itself and proves my point entirely. I wait and observe as she runs over her own response. I'm quite certain she is aware of its flaws without me pointing them out to her.

I feel I've given her enough time so I tell her, "You know how I feel about you, Jane, I have always been upfront with you. It is you who keeps giving the mixed signals. You might mean it now, but when you wake up tomorrow we'll start this same cycle all over again. I don't want to be shut out, blamed or resented because I embody whatever it is you are so afraid of"

"That still doesn't tell me what you want, Maur"

"How can I tell you what I want, Jane? We haven't even had a chance to explore these feelings yet. They're still boxed up and drowning behind all these painful emotions that don't need to be here," I slowly walk toward her until I am standing over her. She refuses to look up at me but I move my hands to hold her head. I gently lift her chin to look up and our eyes finally meet, "You're not ready, Jane, and that's okay. I love you for the best friend that you always will be"

Her eyes start to water and it breaks my heart, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she whimpers through her cries. I drop to my knees to that we are face to face again. I wipe her tears aside and brush the hair from across her face back behind her ear, "I just...it's...I wish..."

I don't want her to struggle or trigger off anything else. The combination of the alcohol and pain would be having a significant effect on her emotional state, "Shhh, it's okay," I reassure her with a kiss to the forehead, "come on, Jane, I'll help you to bed"

I don't even wait for a response, I pull her up by the shoulders and guide her toward her room. After getting her comfortable I return to the kitchen to find some ice for her hand. I re-enter her room with the ice pack and a glass of water.

I kneel beside her on the floor, "Jane you need to keep this on your hand. I've also left a glass of water beside your bed"

As I stand to leave she grabs my wrist, "Please, Maura, stay. As my best friend," she all but begs me and I am putty in her hands. I don't respond straight away, instead I sigh and climb over her to my side of the bed. I look over to see a smile of relief on her face.

I whisper to her, "I'll stay until you fall asleep, Jane. Now get some rest"

She reaches out to grip my hand as if to hold me there forever. I double check to make sure the ice is on her hand which thankfully it is. I realize I had completely forgotten about the fact Jane had been topless this entire time. My eyes can't help but scoot over her bra-claden torso one last time before covering her with the duvet.

Saying no to her tonight was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make. There's a famous quote about the right decision always being the hardest. I can't quite think of it though, my brain is starting to drift in to exhaustion mode. I listen out to hear that Jane's breathing has slowed dramatically, I believe she has fallen asleep. As much as comfort and temptation would like to keep me here, I know it's best I take a cab home. I look at her one last time before exiting the room.

On the way out the door, I hear her laptop buzz on her desk. Curiosity takes over me as I wonder over to peer at what caused the sound. I open the screen to see a series of Skype messages from Casey. They are quite affectionate and flirtatious, even for Jane. Part of me feels insanely jealous. While the other part of me, the best friend part, feels happy for her. Considering the events of this evening, Casey or even Dean could be just what Jane needs. My thoughts race as I close the laptop and exit Jane's apartment.

_But what about what I want. You don't even know what you want._

_I don't want her to feel pain, I want her to be happy._

_I don't want her to be so angry she punches a wall, I want her to free of such raw emotion. Maybe that emotion is all I bring out in her._

The conflicting emotions continue to tear at my gut as I step in to the cold, lonely night.

**TBC**

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**Cheers for reading, hope you enjoyed the chapter :) any thoughts at all, please drop me a line  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Big shout out to those of you sticking with me, I hope you enjoy what's ahead. I've uploaded two chapters tonight and I decided to focus on a single POV per chapter. **

**Anyway this chapter picks up the day after Jane's messy night at the Robber. ****I wasn't too sure about this chapter but I did want Jane to face some consequences. Anyway, I'd really appreciate any thoughts or feedback :)**  


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**JPOV**

I wake up to something licking my face and I'm disappointed when I open my eyes to stare at Joe Friday.

"Alright, enough already," I push her off me and sit up. Holy mother of god my head feels like it got run over by a freight train. I try to ease the pain by rubbing my head but I'm met with more pain in my hand. What the hell, it's killing me. Why do I get the feeling I behaved like an ass last night.

I vaguely remember talking to Maura and pulling the moves on her only to get rejected. The details of the conversation slowly come back to me, so does whatever fluid I last ingested. After running to the bathroom to throw up I drop back in to my empty bed. Damn it, she must've snuck once I fell asleep. I guess it's time I got a taste of my own medicine.

"_You're not ready, Jane, and that's okay. I love you for the best friend you always will be"_

Her words stir in my stomach, the nausea creeping up again. I feel kinda embarrassed, I cried in front of Frost and Maura last night. Who knew I could go all Jersey Shore like that. The emotional drunk stuff was probably not so entertaining.

Well that's settled, I need to avoid everyone I know for at least a month. Then I should probably apologise to Frost, Tommy and most of all Maura.

The pillow beneath my head starts to absorb my pain a little, I feel myself drifting back to sleep when all of a sudden something is vibrating under my back. I wiggle it free and realize it's my phone. There's a text from Frost;

**I don't care how hungover you are, exercise is the key. I'll be over in 30 to go for a run.**

Man, seriously. I feel like I'm dying here. So much for avoiding the world for the next month. I don't even bother replying, I jump straight in the shower.

Twenty five minutes later and Frost is banging on my door. The sound alone is killing me.

"Yeah, yeah calm down," I yell as I walk over to open the door. Frost is standing there looking all chipper and fresh, like he's rubbing it in my face.

He looks me up and down with a smirk on his face, "Lookin good, Rizzoli"

"Ha. Ha. You're so funny. How did you get to be so funny, Frost?" I retort with my usual sarcasm as I basically shove him out of the way as I lock the door behind me.

The first leg of our jog has been a nightmare of a struggle. I literally would have chosen death over exercise about half an hour ago but now I'm gettin in to my stride. We've been going about twenty minutes now and Frost suggests we race to the park before taking a breather. Never one to turn down a challenge, I just smile at him and take off down the road.

I beat him to the park and gleefully rub it in his face. He playfully pushes my shoulder and mocks, "You know I let you win right?"

I keep puffing and panting but I manage to choke out, "Keep tellin yourself that, Frost"

It's never a good idea to stop and sit midsession, so we keep our bodies moving. I start stretching out my muscles and Frost follows my lead. Eventually he breaks the ice and brings up last night.

"How's that hand feeling?"

"Oh, you know, it's great. So I, uh, took a swing at Tommy?"

"Yep, you took a swing and missed," Frost mimics the action with his arms. I can tell he's trying to keep the conversation light while he still can.

"Yeah, well, my brother has had plenty of practice learning how to duck. If I'd been sober-"

"Jane, come on, cut the guy some slack"

"You don't know what you're talking about"

"I heard the argument. He kissed Maura, she turned him down but he still thinks she's hot. What am I missing here, Jane?"

I turn away from Frost, to stretch my legs on the park bench. Again, he follows my action and I can tell he's not gonna let up. It's not like I don't trust my partner but really I don't know how much to tell him at this point.

After a few more stretches I tell him, "Nothing. Tommy's a sleaze and I got a little over-protective of Maura"

He makes a sound like a frustrated sigh, "don't bullshit me, Jane. I'm not blind, you were jealous," he pauses for a moment like he knows the next part is gonna piss me off, "Is there something going on with you and the doc?"

My eyes close for a split second before I stop stretching and sit down on the bench. I don't wanna lie, but I'm not ready to talk about it.

I look up at Frost's curious eyes, "There's nothing _going _on. It's complicated and I'm still figuring it all out in my own head," I pause and continue out of reflex, "I'm not gay, Frost-"

Before I can continue he cuts me off, "Hey, stop right there. I never said you were. Feelings are feelings, Jane, doesn't matter who they're for"

Frost moves to sit down next to me on the bench. I avoid meeting his eyes but I know he's watching me, trying to gage my reaction. I feel uncomfortable and a little trapped by his sincerity. Not to mention the fact he's kinda right. I try to fidget with my hands and I'm reminded of the damage I caused last night.

A soft reassuring touch on my shoulder snaps me out of my thoughts, "I understand if this is something you're not ready to talk about-"

There is it is again. That word 'ready'. Instantly it angers me. This time I cut him off, "You know, you're the second person to tell me I'm not ready. Blah blah, yeah yeah. What if it's not that I'm not ready, it's that I don't _want_ to. Or that I can't be who you expect me to be and I can't fucking help it," I finish my ramble and realize how loud my voice had risen.

Frost clearly understands that he'd just reopened a fresh wound, 'cos his hands are in the air offering surrender.

When he finally speaks it's hesitant and cautious, "Okay, now I'm gonna take a few steps back and make sure there's no walls behind me cos what I wanna say next you're not gonna like," his tone turns firm and confident, "But, Jane, I care about you and you need to hear this. I wouldn't be a good friend or a partner that has your back if I didn't confront you on your shit"

"Okaaaaay," I encourage him along.

I stare at him, the curiosity is killing me. I nod in agreement. We both stand to face each other, "Oh for god's sake, get on with it Frost. This feels so formal," I try to lighten the mood, or cover my awkwardness.

My attempt at humour fails miserably because Frost is clearly in the zone, "Right where to start. Clearly there is something going on between you and Maura, any fool could see it. I'm not gonna pretend to understand what goes on between you two. But, I see the way you look at her and you shouldn't feel like you have to hide it"

I open my mouth to defend myself but he lifts a hand to warn me before continuing, "Tommy _was_ apologising to Maura for making a move when you stormed off. In fact, he was also telling her how much he appreciated you having his back. Now I dunno what you and Maura fought about at the bar, but the jealousy started when she left with those guys. With all the booze and misplaced emotion you decided to take it out on Tommy. Jane, you were an asshole last night and you need to apologise to three people today; Tommy and most of all Maura"

"Wait, you said three people?"

"Yeah, I'm the third dumbass. But coming on this run and listening to me was your apology. So we're good"

"I hate to be a jerk here but why am I apologizing to you?"

"I don't like seeing you cry, Jane"

I open my mouth to reply but stop myself, I do appreciate his concern. I sigh before explaining, "I don't know what I want, Frost. All I know for sure is she's my best friend and I don't wanna mess things up"

"That's a fair call. Well, I'm here if ya ever need to talk alright?"

I smile and playfully punch him in the arm, "Thanks, but I'm still kinda pissed at you for being such a know-it-all"

"What can I say, I'm a genius. Race ya back?"

We take off immediately but this time my thoughts weigh me down and he kicks my ass.

* * *

Later that afternoon I've pulled up to Tommy's new place. I knock on his door several times before he finally answers. He's topless and I know he's entertaining a chick.

He huffs at me, "What are you doing here?"

"I, uh, came to...can we talk?"

After clearing his throat he nods, "Yeah, let's go out front," he turns and yells out to whoever is in his bedroom, "Lyd, I'll be right back," I hear a muffled response from inside as he closes the door behind him.

We walk back outside and take a seat on the porch steps. I start to fidget with my hands 'cos I hate apologising. Time to bite the bullet.

"So, I was a jerk last night," I avoid eye contact. My pride is still in the way.

"Yeah you were," he pauses before asking genuinely, "How's your hand?"

"Sore. I deserve it though," after a moment I look across to make eye contact, "I'm sorry, Tommy"

"Ah, it's alright sis," he keeps his eyes on mine and scratches his forehead, "I just wish you didn't think the worst of me all the time"

I feel bad, it's true. Tommy's eyes drift down to his feet, I can tell he's still hurt but I'm not about to go lying either.

"I should trust you more, you're right. Would it make you feel any better if I promise to try and work on that?" I try and reassure him further, "You are doing better, Tommy, and I'm proud of you. Last night, what happened at the bar, that was my own shit and I shouldn't have taken it out on you"

I playfully nudge his shoulder with mine which causes him to look back up at me, "I know that, Janie," he nervously scratches his head this time, "It's just...it's..."

"It's just what, Tommy?"

"I dunno, sometimes I don't think ya realize how much you're like Ma. Always concerned with everyone else's lives and stuff. Maybe you should stop and take a look at your own life for a change"

I'm shocked and confused by his observation, "What are you talking about?"

Tommy stands up and turns to face his house, "You're a smart girl, why don't you figure it out"

Before I have a chance to respond or say anything else Tommy roughs up my hair. He smiles down at me, "thanks for the apology sis, I'll see ya around"

He walks back inside and leaves me pondering on the steps. My hangover brain isn't helping me think through what he said. I'm naturally a little angry but I know he has a right to tell me how he feels too. After five or ten minutes I give up and decide it's time for apology number three.

* * *

It's around 6pm when I pull up to Maura's place. I've bought her flowers and chocolates in the hope of smoothing over what went down last night. Even though I'm feeling embarrassed and pretty damn nervous I know apologising is the right thing to do.

I approach the door and clear my throat before knocking. She takes longer than usual to open the door but when she does it was worth the wait. My eyes skim up her body taking in the amazing curves that stand before me. She looks so beautiful in that gorgeous red dress. Eventually I reach her eyes and I'm certain I'm blushing.

Maura breaks the silence, "Jane, what are you doing here?"

It takes a while before I notice her facial expression, she looks flustered. She also looks shocked to see me standing at her door holding flowers. Wondering why she's so dressed up I peer behind her to see a guy sitting on her couch with a beer. I can't tell from this distance who it is but I try my damn hardest to focus on his face. He notices me staring at him so he gets up off the couch to walk toward the door.

Maura turns to welcome him over and I can see him clearer. It's one of the guys from the Robber last night. I might've been drunk but I never forget faces.

"Jane, this is Lloyd. Lloyd, this is Jane"

He extends his hand out to me and I politely shake it, "nice to meet you, Jane"

"Nice to meet you," I force an awkward smile. I look like a total weirdo standing on Maura's porch holding chocolates and flowers.

Thankfully it's only silent for a moment before Maura speaks up, "Jane and I work together, she's a detective," she pauses and sees that Lloyd is looking at the flowers in my hand, "we're best friends, like BFF's or is it LL-"

_Oh god, Maura, please stop._

I cut her off and interject, "yeah we are. I had a bit too much to drink last night and I kinda hurt my hand," I lift up the bandaged proof, "Maura was kind enough to fix me up so I bought her these to say thanks"

Lloyd breaks in to a smile and rubs Maura's back as he looks at her, "A loyal and caring friend. You just keep on impressing me, Maura," she smiles back at him while I try not to barf in my mouth. There must be a god 'cos his phone rings, "sorry to be rude, but I must take this call"

"Oh, no. Please go ahead. I'll just step out front for a moment to talk to Jane," she justifies herself to Lloyd even though he's barely listening.

Maura moves outside to join me on the porch and closes the door behind her. She looks uncomfortable but smiles at me anyway when I hand her the gifts I bought.

"I should've called first, sorry"

"No, it's okay. You don't usually call so why would you start now," she says in a neutral tone.

"So, Lloyd, he was at the Robber last night yeah?"

"Yes he was," she pauses to study my face, "Considering your level of intoxication, I am impressed by your ability to remember that"

"Apparently my other drunken abilities include turning in to a complete jerk and becoming emotional train wreck"

"Well, Jane, alcohol is a depressant-"

I cut her off before she starts, "Maur, I didn't come here for a lecture on something I already know. Plus we're short on time 'cos what's his face is inside. Look I came here to say I'm really sorry for, you know, being like that with you last night. The chocolates are to say thank you for fixing up my hand, it means a lot"

"I appreciate that. But, Jane, which part of last night are you apologising for?"

She catches me off guard, "Huh?"

"Which part? Was it at the Robber when you refused to admit you were jealous or at your apartment when you begged me to _stay _the night?"

Now I'm really stumped, "Damn it Maura. Why do you always have to make this so hard? I'm sorry for all of it, okay? What happened at the Robber and my apartment"

The frustration in my voice is evident even though I really don't have a right to be annoyed.

Maura looks just as frustrated, "I can't do this right now"

I nod in agreement and offer a weak smile, "I know, I'm sorry Mau-"

She cuts me off and blurts out, "Stop saying you're sorry all the time and do something about it, Jane"

Inside the house we hear Lloyd wrapping up his phone call. Suddenly I notice how close we're standing on the porch. I clear my throat and move away, "he, uh, Lloyd seems nice"

"He is nice, thank you for noticing"

"I have to get going. Casey and I have been chatting a bit. We're Skyping later 'cos he might be coming back for our reunion"

"That's great, Jane. I know you wouldn't want to go alone. Casey is a good man," now it's her turn to force a weak smile.

Lloyd opens the door and moves to stand next to Maura, "sorry about that, ladies. Is everything okay out here?"

"Everything's perfect, Lloyd. I'm heading off but it was nice to meet you," I smile and confidently offer my hand to him. He shakes it and nods in agreement.

"It was nice to meet you too, Jane"

"Well, goodnight. You kids have a fun time," I say with cheeky smile.

Maura steps toward me and rubs my shoulder, "Thanks for the peace offering. Goodnight, Jane"

When she smiles at me like she just did it reminds me that everything will be alright. I return her reassuring grin and try to convey the sincerity of that peace offering with my eyes. I don't know if she got it or not but I figure it's time to get moving before Lloyd goes all territorial on my ass. I turn and walk down the steps to head home.

A Skype date with Casey awaits. Now if only I could get Maura out of my head.

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**Thanks for reading guys!**

**FYI...  
**

**I know I've hinted at the reunion episode but just so you know I won't be covering it. Sorry if this disappoints anyone.**

**The next chapter does have an angry-sex warning though...  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey guys, there's a spoiler warning for episodes 2x15 and 3x01 for this chapter. Also this chapter is definitely M rated for sex, a little bit of violence and language.  
**

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**MPOV**

I sit alone in my kitchen. After arriving home to find Jane at my house talking to her mother things got heated. Being the child that she is, Jane made her mother choose between us. Understandably, Angela left with her daughter about an hour ago.

I've almost finished a bottle of wine and I absolutely plan on opening a second one. I'm not the type to frequently engage in emotional drinking, that type of behaviour can easily lead to addiction. However if one utilizes said coping mechanism on an infrequent basis, I can't see anything wrong with it. Well, aside from the fact binge drinking is quite literally poisoning your body.

_Shutup and drink, Maura_.

I tell myself as I pour the last drops out of the first bottle. The scene at the warehouse flashes has been replaying in my mind over and over on loop. I'm not even sure what I'm most angry at Jane about.

All I can gather is the root of the emotion stems from the fact Agent Dean was there. Jealousy is not an emotion often felt by me. When Jane was engaging with Casey in Afghanistan and I was fine. This anger and this argument have nothing to do with jealousy.

The night my mother was hit by that car, she left her date with Dean to come to me at the hospital before I told her to go do her job. But the next evening, she chose Dean over me and took him to bed instead of coming to the hospital. In the morning afterglow she betrayed me and set in motion the fateful events at the warehouse.

Paddy was there to protect me and for the second time she chose _him_ over me. Without hesitation, she shot and maimed my father. Added to this, Jane continues to _defend_ her actions and refuses to apologise. I needed her at the hospital and as always her narcissism got in the way. The truth is Jane and I haven't been the same since that night after Hoyt.

Suddenly I hear a banging out near the guest house. It startles me because I know Angela has left for Jane's. The kitchen is dark, I didn't bother turning any lights on. I see a figure move passed the window. I grab the empty bottle of wine for protection, as well as the phone, and walk over to peer out in the hope of discovering who it is. I quietly pull the curtain aside and flick on the porch light. The figure stops in its tracks and immediately I can see that it's Jane. She can see me through the window and walks over to open my unlocked door.

"Jesus, Jane, you scared me!"

She steps inside the house to check the lock on the door, "How many times have I told you to lock this god damn door, Maura?! What if I was been a murderer or rapist or something?!"

To mock me she closes the door behind her and demonstrates several times how to lock my own door.

I let out a frustrated sigh, "Okay, You've made your point. Would you mind telling me what you are doing here?"

"My mother left behind some fancy face wash she can't live without so she sent me back to get it. Sorry I scared you"

"Oh so you are capable of apologising when you deem it 'necessary'?"

I realize the alcohol must be helping because I'm waving my hands around to accentuate my words.

"Whatever, Maura, I'll leave you to drink your wine," she responds flatly and turns to leave.

Jane is at the door and has slightly opened it. I rush over to and abruptly slam it closed again. I point at her and push her backward with my finger, "No you don't, you don't get to walk away!"

"Yes, I do. What do you want from me, Maura? I've said I'm sorry"

"No, actually, you haven't"

"I don't know how many times I have to explain this to you before you get it... I did what I had to do. I've apologised for what happened at the warehouse. I am sorry that your father got hurt. But I will not apologise for _doing my job_"

"Keep telling yourself that, Jane"

"What, do you think I wanted to shoot Paddy? Come on, Maura, who do you think I am?!"

"I don't know what you are capable of, _detective,"_ I spit my words at her, "But I know, for a fact, that I've seen you lose control before. I bet you wouldn't want me telling IA any of those stories now would you"

"I can't fucking believe you just said that, seriously...that's low, Maura. Screw you"

"Oh but the only way I can get you _screw me _is by provoking you isn't it? You have to lose control of yourself and all logic don't you, Jane," I pause and lean in closer. Our faces separated by an inch or two, "I have to thank you though... at least I'm getting a better idea of exactly how you see me"

"Maura, stop, that's not true and you know it. You don't mean what you're saying"

"It is true, Jane. And I do mean it"

"You've got it all wrong, damnit!"

"How, Jane, how have I got it wrong? How am I meant to know what you're thinking when you don't tell me anything?!"

My anger continues to build and build; I know there's no stopping what comes next. The wine has removed any filter or ability to control my reactions. I push Jane backwards against the door, she's cornered now but I continue to poke at her with accusing fingers.

"I put up with your games, it's on then it's off. You want me, you don't want me. You leave me alone watching over my injured mother while you're off fucking Agent Dean. You shoot my father and once again leave me alone in a hospital. And here I sit, _alone_ drinking my emptiness away because now you've taken your mother away from me," I pause and feel my fingers bunch in to a fist, "But what hurts most of all is that you left me the moment you walked out on me the morning after we had sex. You ran away from me like the true coward that you are"

She looks overwhelmed and unsure of what to say. Eventually she speaks, "I'm sorry, Maura"

I lift my fist between our faces and allow a sing finger to escape. I use it to warn her as I angrily say, "Don't, just shut up"

"Maura how much have you had-"

I feel an uncontrollable surge of anger as I cut her off with a slap her across the face. As my hand makes contact, I'm as surprised as she is by the action.

Jane doesn't flinch in pain or pull away from me. I move to walk away from her but she quickly takes hold of my wrist. I try to wriggle free fail, her grasp is too tight. As I attempt to utilize my other hand she clasps that one too, holding them tightly between our heaving chests.

I didn't think it possible but she pulls me even closer to her, our bodies flush against each other. She moves her face toward mine and whispers, "I'm sorry"

Her grip tightens as she speaks. Our eyes are locked, pupils filled with a mix of anger and arousal. I hold her gaze like it's a competition. I can feel the movement of her breasts against my entrapped hands. She is breathing short erratic pants and it becomes clear to me that Jane is aroused. She watches me as I lick my lips. After returning my eyes to hers, I push my hips in to hers.

I lean in as close as I can and whisper, "Prove it"

Jane visibly shudders and gulps. Her eyes show me concern and I can see she's torn.

When she speaks her voice is shaky, "I...I...can't...this is not a..."

In response, I shift my knee between her thighs and jerk it upward to make contact with her centre. Her head rolls back and hits the door behind her with a thud. Momentarily weakening her, I am able to shift our joined wrists to either side of our shoulders allowing for better access to her body. I continue grinding my knee against her core and she starts to whimper.

After pushing my breasts against hers I whisper in her ear, "See, I knew you were a coward," I shift my head back to look her directly in the eye to stare at her diluted pupils, "did Agent Dean make you this aroused? Is that why you chose him over me, Jane?"

She licks her lips as I push my knee against her harder this time. I hear a moan before she whimpers, "no...He...I...that's not," she continues to stutter. I push against her again; she bites her bottom lip and shudders. Her grip on my wrists is almost painful but I like it. I can feel our hardened nipples rubbing against each other.

I whisper in her ear, "I want you to fill the emptiness you've created. You owe me that much"

I take her earlobe in my mouth and suck it until I hear her moan before clamping my teeth around the soft flesh to bite it. Her body jerks at the pain and I hear her growl. In one fluid motion she violently reverses our positions and slams me against the door.

Jane has me tightly pinned, her strong leg is firmly placed between my thighs and she has my wrists locked in her hands above my head. The position offers easy access to my neck. She moves to suck hard on my pulse point before dragging her teeth along it. She nips and bites at my neck whilst grinding against me. I push back against her each time, enjoying the delightful friction.

She releases my hands as she moves to grip my breasts and it's far from delicate. She pushes and pulls, roughly pinching at my hardened nipples. I feel her pull me away from the door enough to remove my jacket and find the zipper on my dress. She tears it down so fast I'm surprised she didn't catch any skin. Both hands eagerly push the sides of my dress down to bunch around my stomach.

I see a proud smirk on Jane's face as she drags my bra straps over my shoulders exposing my breasts to her hungry eyes and mouth. Without hesitation she takes a nipple in to her mouth. She is biting and sucking on one nipple while tightly pinching the other. The dull pain is outweighed by the intense arousal I'm feeling from the lavish attention Jane is breasts.

Her mouth moves across to attend to my other nipple. Her hips continue to grind against my thigh, rubbing the dampness of my core against my panties. The friction against the cloth is becoming uncomfortable.

I grab her by the hair and roughly pull her up to look at me, "Jane, I need you to fuck me now"

And that's all the encouragement she needs. She steps away from me to grip my dress, bunching it up over my hips before swiftly tearing my panties off. The action makes me jump and provides a boost of adrenaline. I feel my heart pounding in my chest as my arousal reaches an unbearable peak.

Jane steps back against me, gripping my thighs and lifting me against her. I tightly wrap my legs around her and she shoves us back against the door. As my body hits the object behind me I feel her shift one hand between our bodies. Without warning she slams three fingers in to me.

The sudden intrusion burns through my body. I grab at the back of her head and pull at her hair as a sound I've never heard myself make before pours out of my lungs. It's a mix between a yelp, a scream, a cry, a moan or a grunt.

I feel my walls clench around her but Jane hasn't moved her fingers yet, she's watching my reaction. I buck my hips against her hand begging for more. Her free hand is gripping my ass and is happy to assist with the movement of my hips.

After a guttural moan she begins to gently move inside me. I feel myself stretch to accommodate her fingers as they gently delve deeper inside me. Releasing her hair my hands land on her shoulders. I push passed her shirt collar to grip on to her.

"Maur…" she groans at me in pain as my sharp nails pierce her skin. Her cry is followed by a sudden, hard thrust inside me. The power is increased by the full weight of her hips shoving against me. Her hand on my ass pulls me against her to meet each grind. These actions work together wonderfully to deepen the thrust of her fingers

I start to feel her fingers curl upward each time she repeats the fully body thrust, the repetition causing delicious friction. She is taking me harder than I thought she would, the pleasurable pain feels wonderful. The ache in my heart seems like a distant memory. Release is near and the emptiness I felt before is irrelevant now.

As her pace increases I know I'm close to orgasm. Jane senses this to and uses her thumb to push against my clitoris with each movement. One of my hands returns to her hair, tearing at the curls, while the other continues to cut away at the skin behind her shoulders.

Warmth courses down the length of my body as our hips jerk wildly against each other. My mouth latches on to neck in an attempt to silence myself. I don't want her to hear my satisfaction or my release.

Jane relentlessly pushes in and out of me while circling her thumb around my bud. Her thrusts become sharp, rigid and determined. Fingers curl deeper inside me to scrape the most sensitive part of my body.

I growl, "Jaaaane," and bite down on her shoulder. My attempts at silencing myself are failing miserably. The door is banging loudly as Jane reaches an indescribable pace. She continues to pull me hard against her to meet each thrust and her nails are digging in to my ass.

I hear her whisper in to my ear, "Come for me, Maura"

I shudder as she offers a few more hard thrusts but soon slows down. She changes the angle of her hand, increasing the friction against my g-spot. Her thumb is rubbing wildly over my clitoris and after three deep strokes everything fades to a blissful white.

I don't know how long I was away for but I come back to feel Jane still inside me. My muscles have turned to liquid and the only thing I can feel are my walls clenching around her fingers. I'm resting my head against her shoulder as she holds me tight against her.

In this heavenly warmth I have forgotten what brought us here tonight. Her heart is beating against my naked breasts and her breath is slowly levelling out. As memories of what lead us here start to replay, feelings of anger and hurt begin churn in my wine filled gut again.

Part of me doesn't want to move, I wish could keep Jane inside me forever. But it isn't long until I remember that those hands shot my father. Those hands belong to a person that refuses to acknowledge how she's wronged me.

I start to lower my legs from around her waist and she hesitantly pulls her fingers out of me. I gasp at the sensation of her withdrawal and I know I'm going to be sore. My feet hit the ground and I barely have any strength left in my knees. I hold on to her for a moment longer until I feel my balance return.

Jane is standing close, my hands still resting on her shoulders. I look in to her eyes and see that look of fear I've come to recognize. She likes to think these are rare moments of vulnerability, but I've seen her like this more times than she'd care to admit.

I know she is nervously anticipating my next words. I lower my hands to her chest, "Jane, I need you to leave now"

She looks shocked by the bluntness of my request, "excuse me?"

I lower my voice and look down to exposed breasts, which are now making me feel vulnerable. I busy myself by fixing my bra, "You heard me, and" I pause before coldly adding, "what we just did doesn't change anything, Jane"

"No, Maura, that's not fair," her anger is rising, "You can't ask me to prove that I'm sorry, like _that, _and then tell me it didn't mean anything"

"It is what it is," my emotionless tone serves to anger her more.

"You _used _me," she seethes through her teeth. Jane jabs a pointing finger in to my barely covered chest.

"I merely sought what you were willing to give. Call it a small compensation for my troubles"

"That is so fucked up, Maura"

"Oh please, I didn't force you to do anything you didn't want to do," I look back up to her, "grow up, Jane. We had sex, again, but this time it was what people like refer to as 'angry sex'"

She goes to respond but stops, I return to my task at hand. Bra in place I start to readjust my dress. I can feel Jane's piercing eyes furiously observing my actions.

She huffs, "this…this never should have happened. And for the record, I take back whatever bullshit apology I offered you earlier"

I can tell she's trying to regain control of the situation. As I move closer to her body again I hear her breath hitch. Our eyes meet; she softens a little but looks desperate for answers.

I reach up to fix her collar and explain, "Jane, I want you to listen carefully. Now admittedly, you did do a _very_ convincing job at proving how sorry you are," my hands move from her collar to the bite mark on her shoulder, "But I'm still angry at you for what you've done and continue to do. None of that was going to change tonight"

Our eyes meet and I see the hurt caused by my words. She softly speaks, "I want to fix this, Maura, I do"

Behind her tone I sense not only an admission of guilt but also that she's also holding on to some resentment. Both of my hands move to cup her cheek, "I hope we can fix this too. But right now, I would like you to leave please"

I give her time to process my words, my hands stroke her cheek before moving back down to her chest. My hands linger over her beating heart for a few moments before I gently push her away.

Jane starts to nervously scratch her head and looks at her feet. Finally she returns her eyes to mine and says, "Okay," after a pause I hear her nervously gulp, "I, uh, guess I'll see you when I see you"

After some hesitation she finally turns to open the door, she pauses momentarily before stepping out in to the cool night. As she closes the door behind her we share a brief but intense stare. I look away first and a few seconds later I hear the door shut. I walk over to lock it behind her and watch Jane leave through the window.

She sits in her car without turning it on. She drops her head to rest between her hands on the steering wheel.A few minutes pass before she finally turns the car on and drives off.

I continue staring out the window, almost hopeful she'll come back. My thoughts take over as I drift in to a state of self pity.

_I'm alone again now_.

_Just like I always have been and always will be. _

_Alone and empty._

__**TBC**

* * *

**Thanks for reading guys!  
**

**So we've hit season three episodes. I always liked to think Jane and Maura had angry sex during their fall out. I chose this night, after Jane dragging Angela away, because their anger is at its peak. When they have their 'cat fight' at work the next day they were arguing but the sexual tension was back (maybe it's because they had sex the night before?). Now I know some continuity people might question how Jane would hide the bite mark from her mother, especially since they end up sharing a bed later that night. But let's go easy, mother's don't notice everything ;)  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hey guys, this chapter contains a few spoilers for the episode 3x02. **

**This is a bit of a nicer chapter than previous ones. But you can expect some bumps in the road ahead, as well as some sexy times.  
**

* * *

**JPOV**

It had been two days from hell. Maura and I survived a close call following a lead at Sensei Matta's retreat. We got back from the hospital this afternoon and Ma gave us a kick up the ass for our behaviour since the warehouse. We both apologised and eventually the clan cleared off.

Desperate to get clean, but not quite ready to leave, I'm in Maura's shower scrubbing the dirt from my body. I got most of her blood off my hands at the hospital but I'm still discovering dried remains. As each speck of red falls from my skin it reminds me of the fact I could've lost her forever. The thought of that way too real possibility makes me want to throw up. Thankfully her leg is fine but I was so fucking terrified I'd done more damage than good when I cut her open.

_What if I had lost her never got the chance to fix this fucked up mess. No matter how screwed up its been, I can't live without her._

A shiver tears through my naked body and I feel like I wanna punch the bathroom wall. I take a deep breath and remind myself she's alright.

_It's not too late, Jane._

We need to talk all this through and figure out what's next. I know we probably can't fix it tonight, we're both exhausted, but there's still shit that needs to be said.

The day after we had an argument at Maura's and I took her against the door I struggled to imagine a way back to being friends again. We had our 'cat fight' in her office, I got transferred, Maura resigned and it all felt so definite.

I regret not being her support through the discoveries she made about her birth mother but maybe that was a journey she had to take on her own. Hopefully we can find a way back to the Jane and Maura we once were and she'll let me make up for that screw up.

I'm not an idiot; I can't deny my attraction to Maura any more. I've fucked her twice now and each time an uncontrollable desire took control of me. I've come to accept that any feeling felt that intensely can't be nothing, _especially_ desire. But I don't understand it and I'm beginning to think I never will.

I don't know what I want and I don't know what the hell to do with it. And until I know, without a smidgen of a doubt, what it means I won't play with fire any longer. Going in blind is a taking a risk I'm not willing to take, I've only just got her back and I ain't about to lose her again anytime soon.

Our close call today and almost losing Maura forever has reaffirmed just how much she means to me. She loves me as much as I love her and she shouldn't have to put up with the rest of my bullshit. I want Maura to be happy and I'm way too fucking messed up to be that special person. Just look at how I've been treating her, I'm an ass and a narcissist just like she said.

_Christ, Jane. Stop your self-pity act and go be with your best friend._

A moment of clarity snaps me out of my downward spiral. I turn off the shower and reach for a towel. I dry my body and I throw on some of the clothes I've left at Maura's. It feels good to be in comfort clothes, my BPD exercise shirt and running shorts feel pretty dandy right about now.

I look in the mirror to fix my frazzled hair and for the first time in a while I feel at ease with myself. I guess acceptance and the hope of forgiveness can do wonders for a person. I sigh and head back out to find Maura.

I walk in to the living room and can't see her anywhere. Damn it, she shouldn't have been walking around.

"Maur?"

"In here," I hear a muffled reply from the direction of her bedroom. I grab two glasses of water and her painkillers just in case she needs them.

Maura's lying on her bed listening to some mellow music and playing with an app on her I-phone. She looks up to me as I enter and sits up with a warm smile on her face.

_God, even in pain she's adorable._

I smile and hand her the glass of water, "Here are your painkillers if you need them. Can I get you anything else?"

"I'm fine. Thank you, Jane" she pats the bed next to her, "Come lay with me"

It's more of a demand than a question but I don't care, I want to be near her. I walk back over to my usual side of the bed and climb on.

Maura watches as I get comfortable, "Are you feeling better after your shower?"

I prop my head up on my elbow to look at her, "much better. More importantly, how are _you _feeling?"

"I'm a little sore but glad to be home. I have become quite skilled on those crutches. I even managed to have a shower"

I frown with concern, "I thought you looked showered. You shoulda waited and I would've helped you, Maura"

She tries to reassure me, "I appreciate your concern, Jane" she pauses to smile at me, "I'm not about to run a marathon, I promise. Maintaining some movement is a key factor in the healing process"

"Whatever you say doctor, just don't rush it okay?" I respond in a playful but somewhat serious tone.

It's nice to be talking like this again. It's nice to be talking at all, really. Our conversation is pleasant, no bitter tones or passive aggressive attacks. There is something still there though, lurking under the pleasantries.

Silence fills the room, except for the music playing quietly in the background. I listen closer and immediately notice the words are in a foreign language. I'm not surprised; this _is _Maura we're talking about. I have no idea what the woman is singing about, she sounds pretty damn passionate.

Curiosity gets the better of me, "what ya listenin to? Sounds a bit fancy for me"

Maura's eyes are on the ceiling as she tells me, "I'm listening to Edith Piaf, a wonderful French artist from the mid-1900's. This particular song is called Hymne a L'amour which means Hymn to Love" she returns her eyes to mine, "and don't sell yourself short because you don't understand the language, Jane. The ultimate meaning behind all of her work is universal"

I let out a huff and lie down flat, "what's she singing about then?"

I cross my arms and do my best to appear uninterested. From the corner of my eye I see a small grin escape her lips. She knows I'm mucking around. The truth is I'm always interested when Maura goes all Dr Smartypants on me like this. Plus the whole 'watch me translate French' thing is sexy.

Eventually my mind is able to focus and we both lay silent tuning in to the music.

_**"Je renierais ma patrie**_**_  
__Je renierais mes amis_  
_Si tu me le demandais_  
_On peut bien rire de moi_  
_Je ferais n'importe quoi_  
_Si tu me le demandais"_**

After Maura pressed pause the song I joke, "I gotta give her some credit. That Edith whatever belts those words out like a trooper"

She doesn't laugh this time. Instead she jumps right in to the translation, "Yes, she has quite the vocal range. The words of that verse mean; I would renounce my homeland. I would disown my friends, if you asked it of me. They might well laugh at me. I would do anything, it doesn't matter what, If you asked it of me"

I gulp at the message behind the lyrics, I cannot deny their power. Maura doesn't wait long and hits the play button.

_**"Si un jour la vie t'arrache à moi**_  
_**Si tu meurs, que tu sois loin de moi**_  
_**Peu m'importe, si tu m'aimes**_  
_**Car moi je mourrai aussi"**_

"If one day life tears you away from me. If you die or you might be far away from me. It matters little to me, if you love me. Because I will die also," Maura pauses but the song continues. I can see a tear forming in her eye as she clears her throat, "you...you get the point"

She stops translating, doing her best to hold back the tears. A lump forms in my own throat, the lyrics hit a little close to home after recent events. As I listen to the rest of the song I let myself imagine what the words mean. I hope the French lady is talking about reuniting lost love. I'm just gonna assume she is.

That song ends and another one starts up. Maura is still staring at the ceiling but I turn back over to face her.

She wipes away the tear. I hear another soft chuckle as her eyes meet mine, "come on, Jane. Aren't you going to use your usual sarcasm or humour as a means of deflection?"

"Not right now, Maura," I smile at her, "sorry to disappoint"

We share a brief laugh in an attempt to lighten the mood. It doesn't last long before the intense atmosphere returns. Our eyes are locked and thoughts gather as we contemplate our next words.

"I'm glad you're here, Jane"

"There is nowhere else I'd rather be, Maur" I reassure her, "I'm just so unbelievably glad you're okay"

"That's only because you didn't leave me"

"I would never leave you," I softly tell her.

_But I know it's a lie. I have left her, I left her that morning. _

I decide to go all out and jump straight in, "I know I left you alone in my bed that morning, and I'm so sorry. I panicked and I ran away from you like some pathetic coward," I reach out and grab her hand in mind, "No matter how messed up shit gets in my head or if, god forbid, we're ever arguing again, I promise I will never leave your side"

Maura removes her hand from mine. She is listening intently but I see her mouth open to speak, "Jane-"

"I'm almost there, please just let me finish," she nods in agreement, "Maura, I swear to you I will always be right there beside you," I pause to take a deep breath, "trying my damn hardest to be the best friend that you so rightfully deserve"

My heart is racing and I can feel my palms are sweaty. I close my eyes for a moment, nervous for her reaction. When I open them to look at her I see a mixture of gratitude and hurt in her eyes.

Maura sighs, "Jane, I appreciate the fact you are willing to promise that to me. Our friendship means more to me than anything else in my life. _You_ mean more to me than anyone I have ever met," she pauses and I wait for the _but, _"But you can't make a promise that we both know you can't keep"

"I mean it, Maura-" I try to defend but she cuts me off.

"No, Jane, it's my turn now. There are no guarantees in life. The life we choose to lead and the work we do simply add to that uncertainty. Considering the amount of times you or someone close to you has looked death in the face, you or all people should know we are not immortal"

Things are getting way too fucking heavy so I try to loosen her up, "What drugs _have_ they given you? I want some, hand 'em over"

My comment only serves to fire her up more, "Don't belittle me, Jane. I mean every word, even if I did get a bit lost in the details"

"Maura Isles, lost in the details? Never!"

She playfully swats at my arm, "Well, I'm glad your impeccable ability to deflect has returned in full force"

We laugh for a moment and I gently pinch her, "Hey is that sarcasm? Now you're stealing my tactics!"

Relief washes over me as laughter fills the room. The playfulness and tendency to mock each other has returned. And so has the flirting. Maybe in the past, before we crossed a line, I didn't notice that side of our friendship. Now it's impossible to ignore.

I feel a blush on my cheeks but it's Maura who turns serious quicker than I'm comfortable with. I could swear she was thinking the same thoughts, analysing how natural it is to flirt with each other. Her eyes bore in to mine like they are desperate for something, anything, but I dunno what.

"Jane, what happens next? For us, I mean"

I can hear the nervousness in her voice as she speaks and it tears at my heart. If only I knew how to answer that. She reaches out and brushes a strand of frazzled hair behind my ear before stroking my cheek. It's a delicate move and it sends a shiver down my spine.

I let out a shaky sigh and smile at her, "I don't know exactly," she looks disappointed but I continue, "I'll tell you what I do know... we'll be just fine"

There is plenty more that we _should _talk about. Certain boundaries need to me made clear, but when she touches me I can't think and I have no choice but to surrender. My eyes drift down to her injured leg and I am reminded of the stakes. _I can't lose her, I won't risk it again._

Her hand stiffens and moves from my cheek to hold my chin. Maura lifts my head back up to look at her and does not look satisfied with my last answer, "After everything that's-"

"Hey, I'm not trying to pretend we don't have a lot more stuff to talk through and I'm not ignoring the fact it's been pretty messed up between us," I pause and she grips my chin tighter to make sure I don't look away, "but we don't need to hash it all out tonight, Maur. I just got you back, I'm not going anywhere and I hope you aren't either"

She loosens her grip and I can tell she's a little more at ease, "Okay so we're back to LLBFF's then?"

"Yeah, LLBFF's"

I agree but notice that her eyes tell me that question was not as simple as it sounded. There was definitely a hint of something more. We've already agreed to leave it for tonight so I don't add anything further. After a reassuring smile reach up to pull her hand off my chin and move our hands to rest on her stomach. While remaining cautious of her leg, I shift closer to her on the bed. I rest my head on the pillow close enough to rest it on her shoulder.

My hope is the new position and lack of eye contact will hit the brakes on whatever fire was building. We're both exhausted; there'll be plenty of time for talk later. Maura needs to get some rest and I don't want to upset her while she's recovering. I get comfortable quicker than I thought; my body sinks in to the mattress. Maybe Maura's not the only one who needs rest.

That passionate French music is still playing and my ears tune back in. I quietly ask, "what does this one mean?"

Maura sighs and turns her head to rest on top of mine, "this song is called Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien which means No, I Regret Nothing. It's definitely one of my favourites"

_**"Balayées les amours**_**_  
__Et tous leurs trémolos_  
_Balayés pour toujours_  
_Je repars à zéro"_**

"Wiped away the romances and all their instabilities. Swept away for eternity, I restart at zero," she whispers the words to me and I smile at the softness of her voice.

_**"Non, rien de rien**_**_  
__Non, je ne regrette rien_  
_Ni le bien qu'on m'a fait_  
_Ni le mal; tout ça m'est bien égal!"_**

She removes her hand from underneath mine to place it on top. I feel her shift our hands so that they're rest on top of her chest. The comfort and warmth sends me to a blissful state of calm.

I can feel her heartbeat as she continues, "No, nothing at all. No, I regret nothing. Not the good things they did to me. Nor the bad - may as well be the same to me"

_**"Non, rien de rien**_**_  
__Non, je ne regrette rien_  
_Car ma vie, car mes joies_  
_Aujourd'hui, ça commence avec toi"_**

I'm drifting further in to the calm, comfortable, blissful place. Thoughts start to fade away, all the fear and concerns I felt earlier are somewhere on the distance horizon.

It sounds like she's far away but I hear her whisper to me, "No, nothing at all. No, I regret nothing. Because my life, because my joys. Today, I begin with you"

Something warm and wet moves across my forehead, it feels like her lips. Sleep starts to wash over me. Consciousness slips away and all that remains is the feeling of her heartbeat beating against my hand.

* * *

**Thanks for reading guys!**

** I'd really like to hear whether you guys liked or disliked my approach with this chapter. Did this fit with previous chapters or was it too bigger shift in theme? Any feedback at all would mean a lot. It is my first fanfic and criticism is the key to improvement. **

**The next chapter references episode 3x03; Maura talks Jane in to doing something "crazy" so they get drunk and return to Merch.  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** This chapter takes place at the end of 3x03 so there's a small spoiler warning.

**MPOV**

I sit outside the veteran office, waiting for Jane to finish speaking with Casey. After seeing how upset she was at the lack of closure, I encouraged her to speak with him. In addition to this I also agreed to be a good LLBFF and wait outside.

Now I would never agree to do something I wasn't happy to do, I want to support her through this, but I can't help feel frustrated at Jane. She's inside with a man she claims to have feelings for and the reason she is hurt is that he is refusing to communicate with her. A reason that sounds like an accurate description of how she's been behaving toward me.

Jane is obviously unwilling to communicate her thoughts or feelings about the fact that our relationship is currently undefined. The line between platonic friends and lovers has been crossed, not once but twice, yet she refuses to acknowledge the complications that have risen from this.

To a certain extent we talked and reconnected after I got home from the hospital a week ago. However, I am_ far_ from satisfied with our agreement to leave things be and return to how we were. How can she expect us to return to a place that doesn't exist anymore? She is naive to blindly hope for such an improbable possibility.

So here I sit, alone on a cold wooden bench waiting for her. Always waiting.

What tops it all off is that she is inside conversing with a man about how he has let her down, hurting her feelings like they were in some kind of relationship. I believe Jane talked herself in to feeling an attraction for Casey as a means of diversion. It was easy and convenient because he was in Afghanistan; therefore real intimacy was never present in their interactions. I don't mean to belittle the friendship which is dated back to high school, that connection is clear.

I believe Jane's current state of pain is about her pride. She can't comprehend or accept that Casey has pushed her away because it's _her _job to cut and run. She's the one who gets to push people away, _not _the other way around.

It makes no difference if it's Casey, Agent Dean or Joey Grant; none of them are viable options for Jane. Why? Because she keeps it that way. They say no man is an island but I'm not sure that applies to one Jane Clementine Rizzoli. She is fiercely independent, dogmatic, stubborn, pompous, conceited and bull-headed.

These traits often cause people to misjudge her and she doesn't seem to mind that men can be intimidated by her. Jane fights to keep people at a safe distance and doesn't seem to mind that men are intimidated by her. Only the special few are allowed through the walls that she's worked so tirelessly to build. She believes letting someone in is an act of weakness which would expose her vulnerability, opening herself up for attack.

It really is a shame that only the carefully selected few are aware of just amazing she really is. All of the intricate parts of Jane's personality work to complement each other. I've never met someone so passionate, warm, devoted, brave, loyal, loving and dedicated to all she does. Sometimes I think I know her better than she knows herself, which always felt like a blessing but now I'm not so sure.

I feel Jane would avoid entering in to a relationship with someone who possesses such a detailed and intimate knowledge of her inner workings. Ultimately because this would mean no more hiding and no more running. Clearly, the thought of surrender terrifies Jane but it will keep her from finding the one thing that could save her from herself. The biggest problem in all of this is Jane doesn't believe she _needs _saving; she is content on her island.

Our relationship is Jane's safety blanket as it provides her with a certain level of comfort, security and intimacy. We both use each other as a way of meeting the emotional needs usually found in a romantic relationship. Adding sex to the equation has brought on confusion and doubt surrounding the true nature of our feelings. But Jane let me in and I opened my heart to her in return. She allowed me to break through those heavily guarded walls and trusted me enough to love her for everything that she is. And even though things have shifted between us, I do still love her unconditionally.

Anyone else might have run a mile, but I will not give up on her. She is still the closest friend I have ever had and regardless of recent issues, she has changed my life for the better. Considering the amount of hang ups Jane has about intimacy, I imagine the anxieties surrounding her feelings for me are multiplied. Firstly, because I am a woman which adds the issue of sexuality. Secondly, if we were to pursue a romantic relationship it would immediately jump from friendship to serious commitment.

I can't deny these thoughts scare me too because I don't know what I want either. I would like to explore these feelings further if Jane were to be less timid about the idea. But the all-consuming terror she feels at the possibility of losing me forever outweighs anything else. Of course I don't want to lose her either, but these feelings of attraction won't just fizzle out. They will continue to burn away under the surface and all we can do is hope that when the fire inevitably ignites it doesn't burn us to the ground.

Following my recent life threatening injury, I have come to appreciate that life is short and nothing is certain. Something has begun to shift inside me; the scientific rigid side of me has loosened up. My need for process, order, control and structure has significantly lessened. I'm starting to let myself _feel _more and not rely on a desperate search for the science behind every emotion.

In the past week I have been arrested for tagging and enjoyed the pleasures of posing naked for a sexy sculpture artist. By allowing myself to rebel, I felt exhilarated and empowered. Sex with Dennis was good enough. But after tasting the raw almost animalistic passion Jane and I share it seems to have ruined me for other lovers.

I have a thirst for Jane now and it frustrates me to no end that I have no idea when it will be quenched. However this is all part of the new unpredictable Maura Isles. I will allow life to unfold unplanned and accept my feelings as they arise.

The door bangs open and Jane exits. She looks upset; obviously the conversation did not go well. I offer some words of comfort and she suggests we do something crazy. After interlocking my arm in hers we walk toward my car.

Once we're seated inside my energy efficient vehicle I turn to see her staring at me with those hurt puppy dog eyes.

After a sigh she says, "I could really do with a drink right about now"

I think I know the perfect place. I smile and nod, "That sounds like a reasonable request," I pause to plan my words, "Jane, I have an idea. You might resist at first, which is why I'm not telling you where we're going," she opens her mouth to protest, "But, I know we'll have a good time"

She smirks, "Oh and how would you _know_ that, Doctor Isles?"

"Just buckle up and trust me, Detective," I offer my winning smile, "First shooters are on me. _That_ is a promise"

Jane wiggles her eyebrows at me, "you had me at shooters, count me in"

We buckle up and drive toward the central part of town.

* * *

The drive over was reasonably short. At one point, Jane realized I was driving toward our favourite undercover bar Merch and the whining started. Surprisingly the complaints weren't too bad and I managed to stay on course.

We step out of the car and approach the entrance. We both left our jackets in the car and Jane is playing with her shirt.

She stops in her tracks, "I don't feel dressed for going out, Maur"

I step closer to her and let my eyes wonder over her torso, "You look good, Jane. I think you'll fit in just fine"

"Was that a joke?" she playfully pushes me backward, "Ha ha so funny. I hope those chicks from last time aren't here, especially that crazy one"

We continue to walk inside and the bouncer lets us right in. It's quite busy inside, considering it's a Thursday night, the dance floor is filling up and the bar is full of patrons. The music is loud and I can barely hear Jane when I think she said let's get drinks. Whether I heard her or not is irrelevant because she's dragging me by the arm toward the bar.

Jane hails the attention of the barmaid and yells, "Two tequila's, two bud's and a glass of your best chardonnay please," the barmaid nods and Jane turns back to me, "Promises, promises," she extends her hand out as she practically yells.

I pull out my wallet and hand over some money. I lean in close to Jane's ear, "I always fulfil my promises" before moving my head back to look at her face to face.

Jane is trying to read my eyes and suggestive tone. Before she has a chance to respond the drinks have arrived, she moves my tequila toward me and we lift them to cheers.

"To zombies and useless men. But most of all, to us," she yells as we clink the shot glasses and down the tequila. I laugh internally at her zombie reference for he was very much alive when we had intercourse.

After slamming down the empty glass on the bar Jane adds, "Thanks for the round, Maur. I got the next one," I nod in agreement and see her eyeing a free booth, "wanna sit down?"

"Sounds good," I tell her with a grin.

Without hesitation she grabs her beers and my wine to lead the way. We wonder passed a few groups and I notice some attractive women around but one in particular that catches my eye. She is a tall, brunette with a lean body quite similar to Jane. Except she has tattoo's and a risqué hair style. The woman notices my eyes wondering over her body and returns the gaze. She is clearly checking me out and it sends a flood of excitement through my body.

I realize I'm not paying attention to where I'm walking and look up to see Jane already seated in the booth observing what just happened. She looks curious but unamused as I finally reach her and sit down. It's a nice booth with red leather couches and the seclusion has softened the booming music.

I look over to Jane but her eyes are on still on the woman. She's taking in her attributes and watching her movements like she's some kind of threat.

After crossing my legs toward Jane I capture her attention with a gentle brush along her shoulder, "Jane, are you alright?"

She jumps as I touch her but then offers me a reassuring smile, "Yeah, fine. Let me know when you fancy another shooter"

"I'm ready whenever you are"

Jane signals the barmaid who is taking orders from the scattered patrons. After taking our order the barmaid turns to walks back to the bar and I chuckle, "From an outsider's point of you I think I can safely say those outfits really don't leave much to the imagination"

My attempt at changing the subject is ignored, Jane doesn't even respond. Her eyes are back on the woman and she appears anxious for our next drinks to arrive. Thankfully the barmaid returns quickly with more shooters and a wine for me. We clink our glasses together and the potent tequila is gone.

Finally Jane's eyes are off my potential suitor and she's staring intently at me. In a nervous tone she asks, "So, uh, you had fun with Dennis?"

I smile, "Yes, aside from an eventful first date we did enjoy quite a lovely evening. Naked sculpting is an incredibly sensual act"

Her eyes move to her beer bottle as she plays with the label, "are you planning on seeing him again?"

"I don't think so," I shake my head, "He was good but I think I'd like to keep it as a onetime encounter"

"That sounds like a wise idea," she looks up to smirk at me, "I'd hate to see you wind up in jail, Maur" she nudges my side and winks at me, "Something tells me you're not cut out for a life behind bars"

Playfully I nudge her back and laugh, "I think that would be an accurate assumption"

"And what about Amy Whinehouse over there?" she says tilting her head toward the mysterious woman.

I'm not an idiot, its clear Jane is jealous and threatened by the idea I might be attracted to another woman. She appeared somewhat uncomfortable about Dennis but this jealousy is completely unfounded. I decide to ignore this and treat this conversation like I would any other.

"Hmmm," I pause as my eyes drift from Jane to the woman in question, "She certainly exudes several qualities which I find alluring" my eyes snake over her body again, "I think she is very attractive"

My eyes return to Jane as she clears her throat, "Wow, I'm so glad I asked," her tone exudes sarcasm.

"What, Jane, don't you agree?" I add in a surprised tone.

She visibly squirms at the question before shooting a brief glance at the woman, "ummm, I dunno, she's not really my type"

A small chuckle escapes my lips, "why is that? Because you're a top and so is she?"

The words slip out fast and Jane looks shocked, "excuse me?"

"Well, Jane, you are a top," I say in a nonchalant tone, "You said it yourself, that you'd be the _guy_" her mouth has dropped open, "not that I particularly agree with such stereotypes"

Jane continues to stare at me with wide eyes. Eventually she croaks out, "I am so not drunk enough for this conversation"

She goes to wave the barmaid over again but I grip her arm to stop her, "no, Jane. You don't need it. Just try, for me, please"

My grip on her arm lingers and she looks in to my eyes, "Try what?"

"Try to relax and not get so defensive all the time," I loosen my grip and push her shoulder gently, "please?"

Her body softens and she leans back against the couch. Her eyes on mine, "Maur, I'm not like you. I find it hard to just blurt out what I'm thinking or feeling," she grabs her beer and starts to tear at the label nervously.

"Why did my comment make you uncomfortable?"

"Uh, it's just..." she pauses to let out a deep sigh, "All my life I've had people make jokes about me being butch. It made me wanna prove 'em wrong, ya know. Guess there's some things I'll always be defensive about, sorry"

I move my hand to rest on her knee, "I appreciate you sharing that with me," her eyes nervously meet mine, "I can see that in you"

"See what?"

"Even though you don't act like it, you are sensitive to what other people think of you. It would have been particularly difficult as a female police officer"

"Yeah, that's true. I can't win though. If I act like a girl they don't respect me, if I act like a guy they call me butch"

"Those men are just insecure, Jane," I pause before adding, "From what your mother says, you've never really been feminine though"

"No, I guess not"

"You should never let a fear of what others think dictate how you choose to live your life. Don't ever feel bad for being who you are, even if it proves people right. As long as you're happy, Jane, it doesn't what other people think"

"Maura, I'm not-"

"I'm not saying that you're gay, Jane, relax. I'm saying this in the broadest sense. I think you let your fears control you way too much. You are the bravest person I know when it comes to putting others before yourself. But you are also the biggest coward I know when it comes to matters of your own heart"

She takes my words surprisingly well and responds, "What do you mean?"

"I know you're afraid to let people in. To let them see the real you, to see the softer sides. Just look at Joey Grant or to some extent Agent Dean. You intentionally pushed them away. And with Casey you had the comfort of knowing he was in another county. But, Jane, if Casey had been here in Boston do you really think you wouldn't have done the exact same thing to him?"

Her eyes drift away from me and she rubs the bridge of her nose, "I don't know," she tells me honestly.

"I do," I say under my breath almost quiet enough I'm not sure she heard. Suddenly I feel our conversation take an unexpected turn.

Jane's lock with mine, "How's that?"

"Because you've done it to me," I respond nervously.

She squirms and looks uncomfortable, "I haven't-"

I cut her off, "Yes, you have, Jane. You shut me out," I tell her in a firm voice, "And let me tell you, it really hurts," I pause to breathe as the emotion continues to build, "especially because we're best friends and I've seen the real you" swallow and breathe, "and I know how amazing it...I...and," a lump starts to form in my throat, "knowing your potential...our potential... yet you continuously refuse to acknowledge it. It... It's a horrible feeling, Jane"

I don't know where that came from, I didn't expect the conversation to turn like this, but it is the truth. Even though I'm not sure I made any sense, I'm thankful I managed to stop the tears from falling. Jane is staring in to my eyes completely astounded. We sit in silence; the music is the only sound invading our moment.

Jane reaches over to take my hand in hers, "I'm sorry, for everything," she rubs her thumb across the top of my hand, "I'm sorry you're hurting and I'm sorry we haven't talked properly. But, Maura-"

Hearing the words sorry over and over sends me over the edge. Something snaps inside me and I tear my hand away from hers before abruptly standing up. Jane is taken aback by my action and is frozen in place.

"I need some air" I announce as I turn on my heels and walk fast toward the exit.

I don't even look back at Jane, I keep walking. I feel completely suffocated by her and I'm in desperate need of some oxygen. The door slams open as I push it with force and my heels click on the bitumen of the car park. I can hear muffled yelling, like someone is calling out my name but I don't care. I'm hyperventilating and I need to get away from this place. I need to get away from Jane.

Outside my car I plunge my hand in to my purse and begin a frenzied search for car keys. Once found I place the key in the lock but a firm hand suddenly covers mine, preventing any further action. It startles me and increases my already rapid heartbeat. I refuse to look at her.

"Maura, please wait," I hear Jane croaks out in a desperate plea.

I remove my hand from hers, "What, Jane? I'm...I...I am so tired of your meaningless apologies"

"Okay. I won't say anything else but Maura," she pauses before wearily adding, "you can't drive, we've had too much to drink"

Finally I look up to see the worry on her face, "Fine, here," I tell her as I practically shove the keys in her chest.

"I can't drive either" she pauses and looks as though she's planning her next words, "Look, I know you're pissed at me right now," another pause, "But I think we should get a cab to mine and I'll bring you back to pick up your car tomorrow"

Her idea is equally as horrible as it is logical. I also get the sense she doesn't want the night to end on these terms and it doesn't take long before I accept that I don't either. We work together and practically live out of each other's pockets. Added to this, it has become abundantly clear that any tension between us also affects those around us.

I sigh in agreement, "Alright, I'll call a taxi then," I do my best not to look defeated. Jane looks relieved.

We stand in silence for a short period of time before a taxi arrives. The heavy quiet looms over us on the ride back to Jane's. Every so often I feel her eyes on me but mine are focused on the road ahead. I keep replaying my outburst at the club and rehashing the words that were exchanged. It had all got too much and hearing Jane's pathetic apologies like a broken record sent me over the edge._ Damn it, Jane. I need more than your empty words._

It isn't long before we arrive at her apartment. We walk silently up the stairs and she extends her hand out to usher me inside before locking the door behind us. I remove my heels and enter the kitchen to pour us both a glass of water.

Once in the kitchen Jane searches the fridge, "I'm going to feed Joe. Feel free to have a shower and help yourself to some clothes"

After finding the dog food she turns around to look at me. I hand her the water and simply state, "Okay"

"I can sleep on the couch if you'd like some space?" she searches my eyes.

"No, it's fine," I quietly respond as she continues to look for any hint that I'm lying, "I'm going to jump in the shower," I add before walking toward her bathroom.

The warm water is a wonderful distraction. As it pours over me, my thoughts gradually dissipate. The fact I almost had a panic attack has exhausted me, thankfully my mind feels numb now. Time feels as though it disappears and next thing I know I'm lying in Jane's bed while she showers. She doesn't take long and as she enters the room I feel a surge of emotion return. The simple sight of her ignites something inside of me and I hate that she has that power.

Jane watches me as she climbs in to bed. I close my eyes and roll over so my back is to her. She sighs and turns off the light. We lay in silence for what feels like at least fifteen minutes. I listen to her breathing pattern trying to assess whether she is asleep even though I feel like I can hear her mind racing. I feel her roll over to face my back. Her hand delicately brushes my shoulder before dropping back down to the mattress.

She lets out a shaky breath, "You were right, Maura. I'm not ready," her voice is so soft and husky, "for Casey, Dean, Grant and most of all you," she pauses to swallow, "the truth is you petrify me. You know me, you can see through my bullshit and I've never had someone this close to me before,"

I exhale, "Jane-"

Jane continues, "I do have feelings for you" her voice is becoming shakier, "but they scare the crap out of me. I have no idea what to do with them. I've been avoiding telling you 'cos I feel like once we go there we can never go back"

I turn my head slightly, "We've already crossed that line and you know it," my voice is quiet but firm, "I can't keep going like this, Jane, it's not fair"

She sighs, "You're right. You are absolutely right"

I roll over to face her, "I appreciate that you are willing to acknowledge that. But Jane, it's not enough. I need more from you...I need answers"

Her eyes are locked on mine and she looks nervous, "I...I... have feelings for Casey," she can see the hurt in my eyes, "I've known him a long time and maybe it's more friendship than anything else. But I still want closure," she hesitantly adds, "like you got with Ian"

"So what are you asking of me?" I ask through a frustrated frown.

"A little bit more time. Not only to move on from Casey but to figure out what's terrifying me so much," she takes a shaky breath, "my head's a mess right now, with everything that's been going on between us and now he's back too," she sounds like she's about to cry, "I just need...a bit more time, please"

"And then what? You keep asking me to wait and we stay like this forever?"

"Maura-"

"No, I want you to listen to me," I cut her off, "These feelings won't just disappear because you want them to, Jane. The way I see it is we either face them head on or we take a considerable break from seeing each other" after a pause I continue, "I don't want to lose you or stop seeing you but I feel that would be the only way for us to have any chance of mending our friendship"

Silence fills the room again, we stare at one another analysing our last words.

Jane whispers, "I do love you, Maura. I always will"

Her words cut through me but I hold in my tears, "I know, me too," I reassure her, "but right now it hurts"

She opens her mouth to add, "I am really sor-"

I abruptly silence her off with a finger to her mouth, "please, don't say it again"

Jane nods and we return to silence. I roll over to face away from her and after a deep breath she shifts her body against mine. A small part of me wants space but the larger part always wants her near. I am too exhausted to think anymore, the conflict in my mind is not going to be resolved tonight. I feel her arm snake around my waist as she holds me near. Her warmth and presence is enough to soothe me in to a state of relaxation as my body disconnects from my brain. I drift in to sleep with a final thought.

_I will surprise you in the morning, Jane. I will show you what you are missing and I won't take no for an answer._

* * *

**Thanks for reading guys, fun times ahead! Next chapter will definitely be M.**

**If you have a moment please drop me a review, I'm not a huge fan of this chapter and would love some feedback.**


	8. Chapter 8 Part 1 & 2

**A/N: Hey guys, I wasn't sure when I'll next be able to update so I've written a little something in addition to my last update. I typed it out real fast, sorry for any errors or if it feels rushed.**

**Warning: This chapter is definitely rated M and is considered part ONE of chapter eight.**

**JPOV**

My body stirs as I start to wake. I feel incredibly happy to be waking up, everything feels warm and fuzzy which is really fucking weird. I must've had an awesome ass dream or something cos I'm feeling rather excited. As consciousness returns to my physical self I can feel soft touches caressing me. A wonderfully soft hand is cupping my breast and there is something firm moving between my legs. I keep my eyes closed, taking in the sensations and feeling arousal growing within.

The movement between my legs increases against my centre and my hard nipples perk up to say hello as they're pinched. There is something wet tracing my neck, leaving a damp path as it licks and sucks in time with each heavenly movement.

"Mmmm," I let out a guttural moan as I arch my chest and buck my hips to seek extra friction.

I feel the need to determine the source of this pleasure so I slowly open my eyes. It doesn't take long for me to realize its Maua. Memories of last night jolt my brain in to alertness as she continues to devour my neck. I look down to see that her thigh is between my legs and her right hand is under my tank top teasing my bare nipple.

"Maura?" I ask in a husky, broken voice. She tweaks my nipple harder and increases the pace of her grinding thigh. I can't bring myself to stop her or move but I repeat, "Maura?"

"Hmmm?" she purrs in to my neck in a muffled sound that is sexy as hell.

"What...what are...?" I pause as I notice the wet warmth rubbing against my leg as she grinds her own centre against me, "what are you doing?" I manage to finally ask in a deep raspy tone.

Maura stops her movement against me and removes her hand from under my tank. She shifts her body upright and straddles my thigh. She elevates herself by her arms and looks in to my eyes.

_God, she looks fucking hot right now._

I think to myself as I take in her flushed appearance. I stare in to dark green eyes, her pupils are massive and there's something behind them that could only be interpreted as lust.

_I am in so much trouble._

I tell myself as a gush of arousal shoots down to where her thighs are wrapped tightly around me. She moves to play with the bottom of my tank top and starts to lift it up but I grab her wrists.

Maura bites her bottom lip then sighs, "You've had your way with me twice now, detective," her voice is low. It sounds sultry and seductive, "I think it's only fair I had a turn"

She abruptly shakes my hands off her wrists with a sudden force I didn't expect. Before I have time to object my hands are above my head assisting her with the removal of my tank. I lay back down, completely naked from the waist up and start to feel unexpectedly vulnerable.

_What the hell are we doing? This doesn't make sense considering that I asked her to give me time last night. _

But any uncomfortable thought or emotion is completely outweighed by the burning arousal pumping through my veins. I would have no fucking idea how to slow this ship down even if I wanted to, which right now I don't.

Maura's eyes take in my bare chest; I feel the redness flood to my neck and cheeks. Once again she bites her bottom lip in anticipation as her fingers begin a dance along my abs. She takes the time to enjoy each dip and curve like it's a miracle of nature. Or maybe it's just Maura going all doctor diagnostic on me, scrutinizing my body's pro's and con's. Judging by the animalistic look of hunger on her face I feel pretty confident she likes what she sees.

Finally she reaches my tits again and she pinches both nipples then twists them hard. I let out a gasp.

_Fuck! That felt good_.

She repeats the action, looking very pleased when I squirm and whimper underneath her. She moves her mouth down to my navel and follows the exact path her hands just did. Her tongue licks every muscle, leaving a burning heat in its wake. Now on my chest she continues to pinch one nipple as she laps up my other tit with her talented mouth. She takes my begging nipple in to her mouth and begins a circular motion with her tongue that threatens to be the death of me. I moan and start to writhe beneath her.

_Holy shit. I don't think I've ever felt so turned on in my life._

Maura's relentless attack on my tits continues and I feel like I need an anchor. My hands release their grip on the sheets and reach for Maura's ass. I grip on to her and pulls her body in to mine as I grind my thigh against her core. It's her turn to moan but my satisfaction is short lived. Without removing her mouth from my tits she reaches behind her to grab my hands and tears them off her. In a swift and firm motion she shoves my hands above my head, simultaneously releasing my nipple from her mouth with a loud pop.

The sharp movement of her teeth over my nipple causes me to yelp, "Ow!"

She holds my hands firmly above my head and lowers her chest so it's flush against mine, "No," her eyes lock with mine, "it's _my _turn," the firm tone sends a shiver through my body, "Do not make me tell you twice"

I am so aroused all I can do is nod in response. I swallow as she starts to nibble on my neck while grinding her thigh in to me much harder than before. Even though she's wearing a shirt the feeling of her tits rubbing against my bare chest is driving me wild. The location of my hands above my head helps me arch my tits fully in to hers. I can feel her hardened nipples which make me want to touch her back but I won't disobey her again. In charge, dominant Maura is one of the hottest things I've ever seen.

One of Maura's hands releases its hold on mine and returns to my chest. I feel her bite down on my collar bone as she clamps my right nipple between her fingers.

"God, Maur," I exhale.

She releases my nipple and cups my tit one last time before embarking on a downward path. Maura grazes my skin with her sharp nails as she trails across my abs before reaching my navel. Her nails begin to draw teasing circles right above the waistband of my panties. Every so often I feel her shift a single finger inside my panties to feel the small mass of curls. But the touch wouldn't linger, she would remove the finger immediately and return to the agonizing teasing right above where I needed her most.

I start to writhe uncontrollably and I buck my hips against her hand, "Please, stop teasing me," I beg her with a desperate plea.

Maura's eyes are on me and I can see a proud smile on her face, "what do you want, Jane?" she asks in a calm, matter of fact tone.

"I want you to..." I pause as I feel her hand finally move passed my panties, "I want..." she is cupping me now but not touching me where I need it, "I want you to fuck me, Maura, please," I practically scream out.

She immediately starts to move her fingers between my curls to find my clit and begins a slow circular motion. One of my thighs is still trapped but I shift my other to open myself up to her more. Even though this is not enough, my hands grip the sheets in anticipation.

Her eyes are still on me, "is this what you want, Jane?"

I stare in to eye eyes, completely at her mercy. I'm too focused on the pleasure building to think about an answer. It isn't until her fingers stop moving that I remember she asked me a question.

I let out a frustrated groan, "Yeah, yeah it is," I pause to think, "More, please, keep going"

And thankfully she does. Maura increases the pace and shifts her head to suck on my nipple. I feel her thighs pick up where they left off grinding against me, increasing the pressure. Something is in motion now, my body feels like it's on fire and I'm on the verge of melting away. The circles she's tracing around my clit are fucking amazing but I can't help feel I need more.

"Inside...I...want...you...inside", I choke out as each word is separated by a moan.

Suddenly all movement stops, Maura is frozen above me. She releases my nipple and lifts her head to look in to my eyes. I know she can see the desperation in my eyes because it only takes a few seconds before I feel two fingers sliding inside me.

"Oh, fuck," I let out a startled cry as my eyes go wide and I can feel my mouth make an 'o' shape. It looks as though I'm trying to gasp or talk but no sounds come out. Maura's eyes never leave mine; she drinks in the sight of ecstasy. I know I'm wet enough but it still feels tight as her fingers push deeper inside of me.

I inhale a sharp breath and observe a look that resembles power in Maura's eyes. She tests my limit and tries to push even deeper. I jerk upward, stopping her exploration. I can see she is still satisfied with what I have to give and she curls her fingers upward.

Without any attempt at movement she stares deeply in to my eyes, "You know, for a moment I considered bringing you to this point then stopping. I wanted to tease you by bringing you to the point of release only to take it away from you," she pauses, "but that would be cruel, wouldn't it?"

I silently nod. I'm not sure what to say, I'm shocked by her admission. My brain isn't working right now, all that matters is her fingers curled deep inside me. I feel her start to move them out until it's just the tips pushing up against my inner walls.

I start to panic thinking she's going to completely remove them, "please don't do that," I all but beg her. She continues to tease my entrance; any movement feels more like a tickle. I buck my hips in the hope of adding to my plea. My eyes have never left hers and I try to convey how much I need her.

"I want you to understand something, Jane," she moves her face closer to mine so I can feel her breath on me, "what you're feeling, what you want so badly from me," I feel her push her fingers deep inside me again, "you've given me twice, which is why I decided not to be cruel," she starts to pump in and out of me at a slow but steady pace, "I know you want me like I want you," her thrusts speed up, "I decided to show you," she tells me before moving her thumb to reach my clit.

Maura hasn't taken her eyes off me; she is relishing the look on my face after each thrust. I move my hands from their grip on the sheets above my head to grab on to her ass. The grinding of her thigh is adding to the intensity of her thrusts. Her thumb is roughly pressing in to my clit as her thrusts become frenzied. I'm using all my strength to pull her ass back and forth; the friction between both our thighs is out of control. I'm pretty sure she's gonna have a bruise on her ass but I don't care.

She starts sucking and biting on my nipple again but it kinda hurts. The frenzied thrusts have limited any control over sudden body jerks so she keeps biting down harder than she meant to. I don't care though, it feels fucking awesome.

One sharp bite causes me to yelp, "Jesus, Maura!" but it doesn't stop her or slow our pace.

I'm getting close now. She slamming curled fingers in and out of me like there's no tomorrow. Her thumb is not only roughly pressing against me but it's rubbing from side to side in tune with her grinding thigh. My hips start to buck uncontrollably and I dig my fingers further in to her ass cheeks.

"I'm going to," I pant out as I close my eyes. She pushes in and out of me a three more times, each thrust more determined than the last. I feel fingers curl up higher than before and hit just the right spot, "oh my god," I cry out as my body starts to violently shake.

My muscles melt away and all I can feel are her fingers inside of me. She slows down their speed but doesn't stop thrusting inside of me. I feel my walls clinging to her, trying to keep her inside forever. My body is jerking and I feel like I just had a seizure or something. I feel her thumb lightly brush over my clit which causes me to jump, I'm too sensitive. Thankfully she realizes and just continues her thrusts inside me.

As I feel her gently withdraw I jolt my eyes open to see her eyes on mine. Maura looks proud of herself and pretty damn smug right about now.

I can't help but add to her growing ego, "wow that was amazing"

"I'm glad you thought so," she tucks a stray curl behind my ear. I lay flat on my back covered in sweat. The silence is nice for a while; I don't want to think just yet. I want to enjoy how good I feel right now cos I don't remember the last time I had an orgasm like that, if ever.

Maura sighs, "Jane, I..." she pauses and I see her face change in to something sure to ruin my afterglow, "I need to say something and then I'm going to go"

I blink a few times and stare at her blankly before adding, "but I was gonna drive you to get your car? You don't need to go right now"

"No, I do need to leave. I'll call a cab to go pick it up. Jane, look," another pause and I start to feel pretty damn awkward considering what just happened, "Now that I've shown you what this could be and how good it can feel," a pause and a deep breath for both of us, "I need you to have a think about what you _really _want. I won't put up with games anymore, Jane. You either want me or you don't"

"Maur, I-," I try to speak, not really knowing what to say, but she cuts me off.

"I'm going to get dressed and head home. I'll see you at work, Jane"

With that she offers one final glance at me before shifting off the bed to get dressed in my bathroom.

"What the fuck just happened?" I quietly mutter to myself. The events of this morning happened way too fast. I feel a mixture of many things right now and my brain isn't even fully awake to process any of this shit.

Maura emerges from the bathroom in last night's clothes. I've covered my naked chest with the sheet but she walks over to me. I feel uncertain of her next move but I'm pleasantly surprised when she leans down to kiss me on the forehead.

She cups my chin and lifts my face to look at her, "I'll see you in a few hours," I can see a smirk on her face like she just won a game or something.

I force a confused smile, "yep, see ya in a few"

Maura leaves and I lie back down in a huff pulling the pillow across my face in frustration.

_What the hell are you gonna do now, Rizzoli. _

**TBC- END OF PART ONE**

**Chapter 8 - Pt2**

**JPOV**

It had been a shitty week and it felt like it was never gonna end. The case was some guy killing women and dressing them up like dolls. Maura's been acting all normal, even after our morning romp, and encouraging me to find closure with Casey. I can't handle her being all calm, supportive and friendly like. It does my head in cos it only makes me admire her more. If it were anyone else I woulda demanded space or run a mile, but with Maura it's different and I can't seem to do that to her.

I've had wet dreams about her every damn night this week, I wake up covered in sweat with a massive female boner. She made me feel so frickin good that morning it's like I tried a new drug and became an instant junkie. Sexual frustration is starting to drive me crazy yet I keep thinking about Casey. I dunno why but I still find myself yearning for that security and companionship I thought I could have with him one day. It's unsettling to me that I don't _want _him like I want Maura. But the truth is I don't wake up and in a desperate need to relieve myself every god damn day after dreaming of him. I do that every single day because of her damn it. The bottom line is I've never wanted someone this badly in my life and it's killing me.

Everyone at work can tell how edgy I've been recently, Maura tried to talk me in to going to the gym or even get a beer at the Robber tonight but I decided to sit on my ass at home. There's no way I need to be spending any extra time around her right now. A cold shower in the morning and cold shower at night is enough thank you very much. I'm sitting in front of the tube drinking a beer when I hear the door opening.

_What the hell?_

I almost reach for my gun but Frankie steps inside with Frost following close behind.

"What are you idiots doing here?" I huff and roll my eyes, "I almost grabbed my gun ya know"

Frankie walks over and pushes me toward my bedroom, "get dressed, we're goin for a beer"

"We're not here to argue, get dressed ya slob," Frost playfully adds.

I rolls my eyes again and do as I'm told, "Alriiiiiiight, alright," I turn and shove Frankie's hands off me before walking in to my bedroom to change.

Twenty minutes later and we're at the Robber on our second pitcher. We're seated in a booth; the two stooges sit opposite me. They're eyeballing me like I'm a perp and I'm not liking it.

"Seriously," I groan, "will the two of you stop looking at me like that already?!"

Frankie rolls his eyes, "What's been up your ass lately?" he pauses before adding, "You've been acting like a grouch all week and we're tired of walking around on egg shells"

I sigh, "I have not, maybe you're both just a little bit too sensitive," I tease with a feminine tone.

"Come on, Jane, don't deny it," Frost says as he pours more beer in my glass, "what's up?"

Frost's last question is said with sincerity and I know they're only asking cos they care. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have to give em something to get them off my back.

"Gah," I huff, "I dunno, it's this stuff with Casey ya know," I avert my eyes from theirs as I speak.

"Stuff with Casey? Or stuff with Maura?" Frankie curiously asks.

I jerk my head up to lock eyes with my brother, "Huh? What's Maura got to do with anything?"

Frankie coughs and sheepily looks over to Frost who looks like a deer in headlights. They sit there silent like I just caught them out on something. My eyes shift between them before landing on Frost.

"Froooost?" I punctuate the 'o' his name for added power.

After clearing his throat Frost answers, "Look, Jane, me and Frankie talk about everything," he pauses, "besides he already knew"

I'm shocked and I'm pretty sure my mouth is on the table, "Knew what exactly?"

"Oh come on, Janie, you and the doc…." Frankie pauses to carefully plan his next words, "you know…there's somethin goin on yeah?"

I practically skull back my glass of beer and force out a surprised look, "Noooo," I pause to hiccup, "I dunno what you guys are talkin about so you can quit with the girl on girl fantasies"

In my head it sounded close to the truth but they both just break out laughing which causes me to blush.

"God damn it," I let my frustration out even though I'm not sure it's them I'm frustrated with, "will you two cut it out"

Frost stops laughing and Frankie follows suit. Frost leans forward slightly, "Jane, in all seriousness, you know you can trust us right? We just wanted to lend an ear"

Frankie adds, "Yeah, Janie, we all love ya no matter what," I can tell he means it, "Everyone can see how good you and the doc would be together, Ma says it all the time"

I choke on my beer, "Wh-what?"

"Well, not directly, but she's always droppin hints about you not having boyfriends and how much time you two spend together," he pauses to smile, "and she's always sayin how she wants a doctor in the family and how amazing Maura is," my eyes have gone wide, "come on, Janie, you must've picked up on that"

Embarrassment washes over me, I don't like feeling like everyone knows something before me. And I don't like feeling like the idiot everyone feels sorry for cos they think I've got my head up my ass. I can't deny I feel some sense of relief at the thought of my family accepting me and Maura as something more. But the bottom line is _I_ don't even know what _I_ want.

"Yeah, look," I feel my body stiffen and a frown form, "I appreciate you guys tryin to cheer me up and all but I'm fine," I let out a sigh, "and there's nothin goin on with me and Maura, we're not dating or anything so cool your engines boys"

My voice is firm and authoritative; I think they get the message. They both lean back in the booth and shoot a quick glance at one another like they're deciding who will say the next part.

Frost speaks up, "Whatever you say, Jane," he fidgets a little in his seat, "But I know you and I know how shit usually goes down in your relationships," he exhales, "Just don't go fucking up a once in a lifetime thing cos you're too scared to embrace it"

Frankie adds, "Yeah what he said," god these guys are gonna kill me with this whole Batman and Robin thing they got going on, "But sis, don't go screwin things up cos I know you'll regret it" he shifts forward to look in to my eyes, "I've seen you with you ex boyfriends and I know Casey from school remember?" I swallow, "I'm tellin ya what you had with them ain't nothin compared to what you got with Maura," he sighs, "the way you guys look at each other and stuff ya know…I think it's awesome," he finishes with a smile.

I can't deny what he said was sweet but I have to shake it off, I'm not ready for this kinda conversation. I clear my throat, "yeah I get your point guys, thanks," I look down at my glass, "can we please talk about something else now?"

They sigh at the same time but I can tell it's a sigh of defeat, "whatever you say, Janie," Frankie adds before jumping up to grab another pitcher.

An hour or two flies by, we keep talkin random crap and taking rounds on pitchers. I'm feeling pretty well on the way to drunk and I kinda wish Maura was here. Maybe I shouldn't have turned her down earlier.

And just like that, as if the universe is playing some cosmic joke on me, I hear Frost call out, "Hey is that the doc?"

I turn my head to see Maura walking in to the Robber with a woman. After a closer look I shudder when I realize it's that Amy Winehouse chick from Merch the other night.

_What. The. Fuck._

I turn back to the guys and Frost is waving them over like the tool he is. I try to gulp but I feel like something's stuck in my throat.

"Maura, hey", Frost and Frankie say at the same time while checking out the _bird_ she's with. They're standing at the end of our booth now and I force myself to look up.

"Hi Jane," Maura says in a polite tone.

I look up to her, "Hi, Maur," I clear my throat, "How's it goin?" I ask while giving the woman a quick glance before returning my eyes to Maura.

Maura asks, "You ended up coming for a beer?" she looks slightly hurt that I turned her down and now I'm here without her.

_She can't be too fucking hurt if she's already got a date lined up._

"Yeah, the boys rocked up and dragged me out," I respond with complete honesty.

She still looks hurt but I see her visibly shake it off as she moves her hand to brush over the woman's shoulder, "Guys this is Veronica," the woman offers us all a wave, "Veronica this is Jane, Frankie and Frost. We all work together down at the precinct," Maura adds a polite smile with an extra kick just for me.

Finally Veronica speaks, "Hi, nice to meet you guys," she pauses and looks at me, "but I do remember _you_ from the other night," her eyes shift over my face and torso. She's being polite but I can tell she's sussing out her opponent.

"Yep, I remember_ you_ too," I do my best to make it sound polite but like always sarcasm wins the war. The boys are just sitting quietly, enjoying the show.

Maura gives me a death stare which eases off as she changes the subject, "Veronica actually came across an article about me online and gave me a call. She's currently completing her thesis and wanted to run a few ideas by me"

"Oh, how very fascinating," again sarcasm takes the win and I sound like a spiteful bitch.

Veronica seems too calm and collected for my liking, but her eyes are telling me she likes a challenge. Maura is clenching her jaw and I can see there's something else behind her eyes. Something tells me there's a small part of her that's thoroughly enjoying this.

Out of the corner of my eye I can see Frost and Frankie squirming in their seats. Frost finally breaks the silence, "Did…uh…you girls wanna join us or…?" he asks with hesitation, leaving the question open.

Maura smiles politely at Frost, "No thank you, Barry, we wereactually hoping to have a private conversation. I'm sure we'll see each other before we leave though,"

Maura's eyes return to mine just before Veronica shifts a hand to the small of her back, guiding her toward a private table.

_Damn it… only I'm allowed to do that!_

I feel powerless and completely unable to take my eyes off of the scene unfolding in front of me. Anger starts to build inside and when Maura shoots a look toward me it almost sends me over the edge.

Thankfully Frankie breaks the silence in an attempt to distract me, "Hey Janie, who is that chick anyway? She looks pretty intense"

"We were out the other night and she was eyeballing Maura," I respond flatly as I do my best to keep my eyes away from Maura.

"So what? They're like on a date or somethin?"

I don't want Maura's business being thrown around, "Nah, I dunno"

"It sure as hell looks like it, check it out" he points toward them and I can't help but look.

Veronica has shifted her chair closer to Maura and is leaning in to her. I swear to god she's about to throw an arm round Maura's shoulder. The worst part is Maura's letting her! She's flicking her hair and leaning toward her too. Under the table I can see their legs crossed toward each other like they're about to play fucking footsie.

"Hey, Rizzoli, eyes back here now," Frost interjects with a firm voice. It almost startles me and I turn to look at him, "quit torturing yourself woman"

All I can offer is a silent nod as I try to regain composure.

What feels like a lifetime is only thirty minutes and we all jump at the loud sound of a microphone being tested. There's some kind of sound check going on stage, a guy is testing out an acoustic guitar and tapping the mic.

Everyone's attention is on the stage and after a few minutes he speaks, "We had a call from a lovely lady this afternoon who begged us to let her show off her vocal skills. She said it's not every day she gets to take someone so incredible out on a date. Everyone, please put your hands together for Veronica!" he practically yells as the crowd politely claps to welcome her to the stage.

_You have got to be fucking kidding me._

_"_Holy shit, it is a date!" Frankie exclaims while I throw a coaster at his face.

Our eyes are locked on Veronica. After a moment, I shoot a brief look in Maura's direction to see her staring intently at the stage. She looks way too excited about this and I really don't like it.

"So, I am here on a date with someone pretty amazing tonight. I'm sure you're all expecting me to sing some sappy love song but I'm not going to," she pauses to look down at Maura, "I believe in facing your past and learning from it. Once you have the courage to do learn, you'll find life and love is full of richer, truer oppurtunites," she pauses to look down to smile at Maura, "This is a song by Soko that reminds me of my ex and the messed up journey we shared. It's called 'Don't You Touch Me' and even though it's angry I think it's incredibly sexy"

I swallow in anticipation as she starts strumming the guitar. When she starts to sing I can't deny she has a great voice.

I was seated by myself  
And you came  
You asked me to take your hand again  
You told me if I'm nice  
We would be together  
So I'm doing my best  
But we're not  
You told me if I'm nice  
We would be together  
And you would be nice too  
And you would be nice too  
And you would be nice too

But _**don't you touch me**_  
Cause it means so much to me

Wow, this chick can sing. My eyes move to watch Maura as she watches her date serenade her, in a really weird way I might add. What's also weird is the fact I'm finding this song oddly arousing. Flashes in my mind of a writhing, sweaty Maura pop in my mind. Added to the memories are also the fantasies that torment me every night. I yearn for the possibility of touching Maura again, even if it hurts.

I stayed pure as a dove for you my love  
But you are a werewolf  
Aren't you my love  
And I soon realize that it's not a game  
To find the soul mate of your life  
I soon realize that it's not worth the gamble  
Cause I always lose  
Cause I always lose  
Cause I always lose

But _**don't you touch me**_  
Cause it means so much to me

I feel a shiver shoot down my spine as my talk with the boys earlier flashes through my mind. I can't take my eyes off Maura, memories of times together jolt through my mind. All the fear and anxiety stirs in my gut, the combination of these emotions plus the arousal is starting to overwhelm me.

Let's not pretend  
To be just friends  
And don't hold my hand again  
Don't break my heart again

Is there  
A place  
Where I can rest  
Without you in my head  
Without you in my head  
Without you in my head

A lump in my throat starts to choke me, tears start to sting my eyes but I hold them in. Something takes over me and I jump out of my seat to power walk toward Maura. Frankie and Frost yell out but I ignore them. I reach for Maura just as Veronica has returned to the table.

Maura isn't looking my way when I tightly grip her arm and pull her up out of her seat. I didn't mean to startle her but her eyes were on that stupid musician.

"What do you think you're doing?" Veronica asks me in a clearly irritated tone while Maura stares at me in shock.

"Yes, what-"

Maura goes to speak but I cut her off, "If you'll excuse us for a moment, Veronica, I need a word with my _friend"_ I grunt out as I pull Maura away toward the rest room.

I can feel her struggling against me just to make a point. She's isn't fighting me like she means it so I keep us moving. We reach the bathroom and I practically shove her inside, closing and locking the door behind us.

Maura yells at me, "Jane what the _hell _are you doing?!"

_Shit. I hadn't thought this far ahead._

"You better have a good explanation for this behaviour, Jane," she pauses to point her finger at me, "this...this is simply unacceptable!"

I've started pacing the bathroom, avoiding her eyes. When I stop to look up at her I can see anger but I can also what appears to be arousal. A flood of relief temporarily washes over me at the thought she still wants me. Our gaze is getting intense and I see her shift uncomfortably like she's losing focus.

"Well?" she shrugs and lifts her arms in the air.

"You, uh...that" I shudder and return my eyes to my feet, "You can't do th-" I sigh and return my eyes to hers, "You can't do that shit in front of me"

She lets out a frustrated whine, "Do what, Jane?"

"Basically make out with some chick while I'm ten feet away, it hurts," I feel vulnerable now and she can tell.

"Do you think I enjoy hearing all about Casey?" she pauses to move closer toward me, "Do you think I enjoy sitting around waiting for you?" I feel her take my cheeks in her hands and the touch feels electric, "_That _hurts, Jane," I shiver at her touch just like in the dreams, "You can't expect me to sit at home and not put myself out there. Veronica called me out of the blue to ask me out, I said yes," her words hurt me but at the same time I want to kiss her, "_she_ had the courage to _ask_ for what she wanted instead of playing these stupid games"

"Maura, I can't think when you touch me," I manage to rasp out as I take her hands in mine to remove them from my cheeks. I force some distance between us and take a step away from her, "I'm sorry," I whisper shakily.

"That's what I thought," she looks like she just found clarity on something, "Make up your mind, Jane, or stop behaving like this," she moves a step toward me again to stare deeply in to my eyes, "I mean it," she tells me coldly before walking passed me to exit the restroom.

I take a few moments to breathe, kinda shocked by my own behaviour. I'm pretty sure I need another cold shower after that encounter.

_How can someone have that kinda power over me? This is fucking crazy. I need to get outta here._

As I walk back in to the Robber I notice that Maura and Veronica are already on their way out, hand in hand. Frost and Frankie are just staring like idiots, clearly taking a mental image for later. I walk back over to them in a slump, thankfully neither of them has the balls to bring up what just happened. They both stand up, getting the vibe I wanna leave.

Frankie puts his arm around my shoulder, "Come on, let's get you home"

I let a small grateful smile escape my lips as we exit the Robber.

_Something's gotta give, Jane. Something's gotta give._

**Thanks for reading guys! The song by Soko is awesome if you haven't heard it before. I promise things will get resolved soon and it won't be so intense all the time. Let me know what you think though, feedback means the world to me :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey peeps, sorry for the lack of updates. As mentioned in a previous A/N, I was moving interstate.**

**I hope you enjoy the chapter :)**

* * *

**MPOV**

I arrive at work the next morning after my first date with Veronica feeling refreshed and vibrant. Regardless of Jane's rude and irrational behavior it was a nice evening spent with a lovely woman. Veronica was kind, friendly and open. Not to mention incredibly sexy. Her ability to be comfortable and honest with her feelings toward me was a welcomed change from my recent experiences with Jane.

Once I'm through security, I peek in to the division café. There is no sign of Jane which is rather odd considering her usual routine. Slightly disappointed as I was hoping to go for a workout with Jane, I sigh and make my way downstairs to change out of my gym attire in my personal bathroom.

I start to undress at a slow pace. As the cool air starts to caress my bare skin I begin to imagine how Veronica's delicate hands would feel as they explored my body. I close my eyes and allow myself to expand on the fantasy. I picture her wanton body naked and yearning for my touch. Our hands wonder over bare skin, exploring each other as we work our way toward a heavenly climax. The glorious and highly erotic fantasy awakens warmth between my legs. I can't help but let my right hand pause on my breast. The momentary caress serves to erect both nipples as they crave further attention.

Without warning I see a sudden and intrusive flashback of a writhing, naked Jane as she climaxes_._ I feel my heart race increase as the memory of her touch and the feel of her skin sends a shudder through my body. The suddenness and intensity of my fantasies make me feel unexpectedly lightheaded. I jolt my eyes open in the hope of grounding myself.

_You are at work. This is neither the time nor the place. Not to mention the fact you are having sexual fantasies about two different women. What in the world are you thinking?_

Sobering thoughts enter my mind, instantly subduing any arousal I felt a moment ago. I contemplate my motives with Veronica. The idea that I'm playing with Veronica's feelings causes the unpleasant formation of a knot of guilt to grip at my intestines. As I begin to zip my skirt and button my shirt I wonder about the extent of my feelings for her. Of course I like her and obviously I am attracted to her. But I also know that the depth and extent of my feelings toward Veronica do not compare to what I feel for Jane.

Now fully dressed, I sigh to myself and take a few moments to fix my face in the mirror. As I stare I conclude that it is fair to remain open to Veronica so long as I remain truthful. I am a single woman who deserves to feel appreciated. Regardless of the complicated situation I've found myself in with my best friend, Jane has no right to make any demands of me at this point. The simple truth is that she does not own me and we are not exclusive.

So long as I remain open with both parties there is nothing wrong with pursuing my options, however I see fit. It has, however, become clear to me that my feelings for Jane are increasing and I know it is quite simply impossible to ignore them any longer. I wish that the next steps were clear, I wish I knew where we stood but I don't. In the meantime, I refuse to play Jane's games and fully intend to indulge myself with Veronica.

* * *

The day passes at a rapid pace with limited contact with Jane after our brief run this morning. At around noon I received a text from Veronica suggesting a second date for tonight. I accept the invitation immediately and as the hours tick over I am feel increasingly excited by the minute.

Thankfully the lack of contact with Jane has allowed me the space I need to focus on said excitement and simply enjoy the intoxicating feeling of being wanted. Veronica's repeated short but sweet text messages have provided a delightful boost to my day. I can't help but smile each time I hear my phone buzz.

I hear the familiar sound of vibration as my phone receives yet another message; my blushing smile drops ever so slightly as I realize it is actually a text from Jane. It reads;

_Can I come downstairs for a chat? –J_

Without pause I respond;

_Sure, I'm in the morgue -M_

Even though I'm uncertain of what Jane would like to discuss one thing I know for sure is that I would never avoid her.

After a few minutes I hear the elevator doors open and Jane enters the morgue. She must have been on her way down when she text because she arrived much faster than I had anticipated. I observe Jane's movements as she opens the door and strides in. I notice she is walking with a little less swagger than usual. She also looks slightly nervous and her demeanour tells me she's feeling somewhat timid.

Due to the fact I am standing at my computer desk Jane walks passed me and takes a seat on the leather chair next to the desk. I keep my eyes locked on her but she doesn't make eye contact. After scratching her hair and clearing her throat she finally looks up at me.

"Hi," she says simply but with a polite smile.

I respond softly but with a smile, "Hello, Jane"

"How's it going?"

"Fine thanks," I respond politely, "How is the rest of your day going?"

"Yeah, okay I guess," she says flatly, "this case is weird"

I nod before making a move toward her and with a closer view I can see just how tired she looks. It has been a particularly odd case and it hasn't helped that Jane's going through some personal issues right now. I can tell it is definitely not the time to bring up last night or what is happening between us. Instead, we engage in a particularly frustrating discussion about her inability to move on from Casey.

As Jane's best friend, I am meant to feel sorry for her. But it has become increasingly difficult to sympathise considering the unspoken truth that underlies our current situation. Sure, she's upset about him but I also know her emotional turmoil coincides with her confusion surrounding her feelings toward me. If only she wasn't so insistent on running from her true self. Whoever that may be. Regardless of whether Jane wants to be with me, she still needs to acknowledge her repeated patterns in order to better her future. I want Jane to find true love and I want Jane to find the happiness she deserves.

My train of thought is interrupted by a beeping sound and I notice Jane jump slightly as she receives a text. She reads it and explains it's from Casey asking her to meet him at the Robber tonight. I guess he followed my advice and decided to stop being 'mean'. I encourage her to go and she agrees. Jane is nervously looking at me, taking in my body language.

Eventually she speaks in a nervous tone, "so, uh, how was the rest of your night with Veronica?"

I smile and respond politely, "I had a nice evening, thank you"

"That's good," she forces out before clearing her throat, "so what was she like?"

I'm not sure what the hidden meaning behind her question is. I stand close to Jane, trying to read her expression. She's looks to her feet and blushes.

"I haven't slept with her yet, Jane," I tell her so softly it's almost a whisper.

Jane returns her eyes to mine. Her momentary relief is followed by a look of concern, "Yet?"

"She wanted to take things slowly," I smile and feel myself start to blush, "we're going on another date tonight"

"A date two nights in a row is taking it slow?" she asks in her usual sarcastic mocking tone. I sense a bit more spite in her voice than usual and her attitude is frustrating.

"Jane," I simply state her name in a firm, low voice as a warning which she adheres to.

"I'm sorry, Maur," she relents, "I want you to be happy," she sighs before adding, "Even though I am seeing Casey tonight, I just feel a bit weird about all this"

"About what?"

"Gah, I dunno. You dating another woman," she exasperates in a whine, "and before you say anything I know I should shut up," her tone and demeanour changes, "I have no right to act like I did last night or how I'm being all weird now," she reaches out to place a hand on my shoulder, "I hope things go well with your date, really truly"

The physical contact and look of defeat eases my frustration. I hate that I want to kiss her right now. Especially because she's saying one thing but her eyes are clearly telling me something different. I see sadness, defeat, jealousy, fear and frustration. We hold a gaze for a few moments before she drops her hand from my shoulder and turns to walk away.

"Jane wait," I call out to her and she stops in her tracks, "I hope you find what you need tonight with Casey,"

Saying those words I realize I am feeling all the same emotions I just saw in _her_ eyes.

Jane is already at the door with her back to me. She scratches her neck, "Thanks, even though I'm not sure what that is I hope so too," she offers me a quick glance over her shoulder and forces a smile, "I'll catchya later, Maur"

And just like that Jane is gone, leaving me alone to contemplate the underlying tension present throughout our conversation. I feel a mixture of emotions as I consider the fact that we will both be on dates tonight, and not with each other. Considering recent developments it feels strange, sad and quite disappointing. The excitement I felt earlier is long gone and a sombre mood consumes me. I decide to call it a day in the hope that a change of environment will alleviate the discomfort and confusion brought on by this strange concoction of emotions.

* * *

At 7pm sharp I arrive at Veronica's choice of restaurant. After leaving work in an average mood I spent an hour at home getting ready. A long shower helped me ground myself before I started getting ready. These tasks certainly assisted in boosting my mood. I take a deep breath as I enter the impeccable restaurant. Thankfully I feel as refreshed and vibrant as I did this morning and the pleasant excitement I felt earlier has returned in full force.

My eyes take in the restaurant and as soon as I notice Veronica I am happy to see her warm smile as she stands to welcome me. I approach the table and she steps around to pull out my chair. She follows the kind gesture with a delicate kiss on my cheek. I sit down with a smile and immediately feel at ease. She has a warmth and comfort about her that makes me feel special.

Veronica had already ordered a delectable bottle of wine and inviting entrees. From the moment I first spoke to her to the moment I arrived at the table tonight I have been impressed by her considerate nature. I smile at the thought.

_This is nice. This is going great so far._

I'm shaken out of my thought as Veronica pours us both a glass of wine and raises her glass. I offer a wide smile and follow suit.

"Here's to you, Maura. You look incredible," her compliment is genuine.

I smile and respond, "Thank you, Veronica. As do you"

I allow my eyes to wonder over her upper body and gorgeous face, I feel a blush rise to my chest but I am grateful it holds its position there. We sit in silence for a moment to take in the scene and each other's presence, I am again impressed by the fact it is a comfortable silence. We pick at our entrée and finish our first glass of wine before pouring another.

Veronica is the first to speak, "How was your day today?"

It is a simple question, one that shouldn't require too much consideration. But I find it unfortunate, not to mention frustrating, that my mind immediately shifts to Jane. I try, without much success, to shake the thought of our conversation this afternoon.

_Just breathe, Maura._

I swallow and decide to use another distraction tactic. Aside from the current context, surely it is understandable that any question of work would remind me of Jane. We spend at least 12 hours a day together, almost every day of the week.

I take a long sip of wine to buy some more time. Finally I respond, "It was fine, thank you," my tone is confident and poised, "The case we are working on has been somewhat challenging, but it is what it is"

"I can only imagine," she responds with a smile.

_Thank goodness. Maybe that anxious moment wasn't as long as I thought._

"And how was yours?" I ask in return.

Finally, my attention is back with Veronica. I am back in the present and want to stay. As I await her response I admire her genuine eyes.

"Oh it was nothing out of the ordinary. I spent the first half the day working on my thesis and the other half at the clinic"

I smile, "I think it's wonderful that you work with LGBT youth, I admire that in you"

Veronica blushes again, "Thank you," she pauses, "it's tough sometimes. There's just not enough support available. I believe it is so important to help our youth feel like there is hope and they're not alone in their struggle"

"If there is ever anything I could help with please do not hesitate to ask"

"I appreciate that. You did mention that your family invest in charitable organisations. We're okay at the moment but I will keep it in mind. Besides," she pauses to circle the rim of her glass, "it is only our second date and I'd rather not mix business with pleasure at this stage"

Veronica's eyes return to mine and we share a smile. I agree before suggesting that we order our food. Our conversation continues to flow with ease. We discuss her thesis and my study as well as my work. Before moving along to discuss the work I have done overseas. I am pleased to discover that Veronica has also engaged in extensive travel to similar geographical locations to me.

We have a lot in common and do share a similar view on many aspects of life. Again, it is a welcomed change from the dynamic I share with Jane. For a moment I ponder the theory of opposites and consider my compatibility with Veronica. Whilst it is nice to have so much in common, sometimes similarity can lead to boredom or a lack of mental stimulation. Healthy levels of conflict and difference of opinion are a successful means of keeping the mind active. My thoughts quickly shift back to Jane, once again, but I am grateful that our food arrives to distract me.

As we begin our meal, Veronica pours another glass of wine. I am on a comfortable level of intoxication but I know that I'm only two glasses away from being inebriated. For some reason this assessment doesn't deter me and I decide to indulge.

"So, Maura, when you talked about Africa you mentioned a guy called Ian. Is that one of your exes?"

I'm slightly taken aback by the subject change, "Yes, Ian was my first love. But what brought us together is also what tore us apart. He is still working in Africa and we no longer speak," I respond gracefully.

Veronica nods and smiles, "I can understand what you mean. My ex-girlfriend and I travelled for years together. She decided to stay in South America but I came back to Boston. It's hard isn't it? To say goodbye because of external factors"

"It can be extremely difficult. Ian _was_ my one and only," I pause in a moment of contemplation. I do my best to convince myself that wasn't a lie, "but I'm glad I've moved on," I quickly add before Jane can enter my mind.

_You said he was your one and only, you didn't say he is. It's not a lie, just relax. _

"And where does Jane fit in to your life?" she asks me in a simple, non-judgemental tone.

I pause for a moment and know I can't take too long before I respond. My mind races around potential answers filled with part truths, lies, hurtful truths and confusing rambles.

After swallowing a sigh I respond, "Jane and I are colleagues, we are also best friends. Considering the amount of time we spend together in a professional and social setting it is a unique friendship," I pause, "And sometimes it can be an intense relationship"

Veronica is listening intently and asks, "Intense how?"

I peer down to my wine glass and play with the rim, "I don't want to lie to you, Veronica. You deserve the truth," I pause to release a breath; "Jane and I have recently added a sexual element to our friendship which has proven to be quite confusing. The first time it happened we had been through a particularly traumatic event and it has been a difficult time for us since then. We have been through a lot together and that will never go away," I sigh before continuing, "But we aren't dating or planning to pursue a romantic relationship," I pause and return my eyes to hers, "I like you and I hope that me telling you all of this hasn't ruined our evening"

Veronica's looks down at her now empty plate. She takes a moment to think before returning her eyes to mine.

"No, Maura, you haven't ruined anything. I appreciate the honesty. So long as you continue to be open with me I want to keep seeing you" she reaches across the table to take one of my hands in hers, "But, Maura, I'm not blind. I could see the tension between you two last night," I feel her fingers graze my knuckle, "I have to ask, what's stopping you two from being together?"

The sensation of her touch and the question make me feel torn. I feel warmth growing between my legs but my heart is anxiously beating at the inquisitive question. I close my eyes to revel in the touch of her hand.

I let out a shaky breath, "Jane is scared and confused. I don't want someone who is afraid to be with me," I open my eyes to look directly into hers, "I want someone like you," a blush creeps across my cheeks as I notice arousal in her eyes, "I want you," I tell her in a soft seductive tone.

Veronica smiles in response and pulls my hand to her mouth to place a kiss on the recently caressed knuckle. She signals for the waiter to take care of the bill. Once taken care of she stands and reaches her hand out to take mine.

"Shall we?"

* * *

The taxi ride back to my house was quick; we barely discussed where we would continue our date. And honestly I didn't really think it through before offering my home. Veronica reached out to hold my hand during the short travel time. I was touched that she covered both the meal and the taxi charge.

We stand outside my door as I search my purse for the house keys. I shoot a subtle glance to the guest house to see that there are no lights on; Angela must be out or asleep. After opening the front door I push it open and take Veronica's hand to guide her inside. I flick on the lights and observe her as she takes in her surroundings.

"Wow, Maura, you have a gorgeous place. I love the decor"

I smile at the compliment, "Thank you, I've collected many items over the years," I turn and walk toward the kitchen.

Veronica follows suit and takes a seat at the kitchen island.

"Could I offer you another glass of wine?"

She nods and smiles, "That would be great, thank you"

I oblige and pour us both a glass of chardonnay. Instead of offering her the glass I walk around the island to face her.

"Shall we move this to the couch?" I ask in a low and suggestive tone.

Veronica swallows before responding, "Sure"

We walk in the living room and find our seats on my couch. I am pleased when she sits close to me, knees and thighs brushing. I feel arousal growing more prominent by the minute. I offer her a glass of wine and as she her hand reaches the glass I gently caress her fingers with mine. We both blush as she takes the glass and we take our time enjoying a long sip of delightful wine. We sit in silence, allowing us the time to finish the glass.

The moment the last drop is consumed I slowly take the glass from her hand and place it on the table alongside my own. Our eyes meet and I see desire. My hypothesis proven by the dilation of her pupils.

_I want her, I want this, and I want to forget Jane._

Veronica observes my movements as I slowly stand to face her. I reach out and trace a hand across her cheek. My other hand follows before dropping to her shoulders to forcefully push her back further in to the couch. Satisfied with her new position I spread my legs to climb on top of her, hands still resting upon the strong shoulders before me.

I feel her hands stroke down my back before finding a grip on my buttocks. She pulls me tighter against her and I feel my breath hitch as the friction of her jeans against my core ignites a fire below. Our faces are mere inches apart, suspended in a sea of anticipation. I can't take it any longer so I lunge forward to capture her lips in a rough kiss fueled by demand. As she opens her mouth to me I devour her tongue with mine, the movements matched by the grinding of my core on her thighs.

I release my tight grip on her shoulders and move my hands to wrap around her neck. The location of my hands adds to my ability to control the kiss. As I continue to grind against her I feel her hands shift from my buttocks up to the top of my back. She searches for a moment before taking hold of the zipper of my dress. I feel the zip begin its sensual descent so I stop kissing her. I lean back to look in to her eyes as she pulls the sides of my dress away from my shoulders.

As her eyes journey from my abdomen to my bra clad chest I see a look mixed between awe and satisfaction light up her face. After a few moments I feel her hands release their hold on my bunched up dress around my hips and move to caress my upper thighs. A surge of arousal pumps through me. Her lust filled eyes never leave mine as she hikes up the hem of my dress, exposing my thighs completely. Still wrapped tightly around her I encourage her by pushing my core harder against the course material of her jeans.

I reach a hand down to grasp one of hers and guide it closer to my center. Thankfully she obliges my obvious need and cups me through my thong. I respond with a determined buck of my hips.

"Oh," I moan, "Please, I want you"

Our eyes are locked and I can see the rapid movements of her chest. I know she wants this as much as I do and the tension is melting the air between us. After only a moment's hesitation I am relieved to feel her hand draw a delicate circle around my mound before moving the lace aside. I shudder as her long, slender fingers finally make contact with my damp folds.

"God, Maura," she groans, "You're so wet"

I let out another moan as her fingers discover my enlarged clitoris. My moan of appreciation is followed by a strong, forceful buck of my hips. I am rewarded with additional pressure and purposeful strokes. The movement of my hips increases in speed as I attempt to match the pace of the circular motion of her fingers. As I feel her free hand cup my breast I know it won't be long until I climax. She tweaks my hardened nipple through my bra and I gasp.

Our pace has become frenzied as I continue to ride her hand. It is like she senses my need for more and moves her hand lower to enter me. I look in to her eyes and offer an assured nod. Just as I feel a single finger reach my entrance, I hear an unexpected knock at the front door. Due to the fact we were both lost in the intensity of the moment, we jump and she gently removes her hand from my thong.

I let out a frustrated sigh and tell her, "I'm sorry, I'm not entirely sure who that could be"

"It happens," I'm relieved as she smiles at me, "Why don't you go see who it is? I'm not going anywhere"

Veronica brushes a stray, frazzled, section of my hair behind my ear. I smile and kiss her on the forehead before I stand before her again. I offer her a smirk as she watches me compose myself. I can tell she is taking in as much of my body as she can before it is covered again.

Somewhat satisfied I approach the door to investigate. Of course a small part of me assumes it could only be Angela or Jane, but at this moment in time I am _really_ hoping that I'm wrong. As I reach the door I peer through the key hole and see that it is indeed what I thought.

**TBC**

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**Thanks for reading :) Sorry to tease and leave it on a bit of cliffhanger hehehe. **

**If you feel like it, please drop me a review or PM and let me know what you thought.**


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